To 2010

2010, you were good to us in so many ways. Time together as a family, Little Man officially starting school, Baby Girl turning into a rambunctious toddler, vacation, The Husband and I growing together as a couple.


However, I probably won't remember you for those things, nice as they are. I think I will always remember you for all the health issues, among other things.


And DRAMA. Not people created drama, but the kind of drama that life hands you on a platter and says - "DEAL."


Just to recap: my brother-in-law was in Port-au-Prince during the Haiti earthquake. He was supposed to be staying at the Hotel Montana , but at the last minute was diverted to another hotel which didn't sustain much damage. He lost two coworkers who did stay at the Hotel Montana. It about gave all of us over here heart attacks. Seriously. However, he ended up making it home within a week, and without a scratch on his body. With all of his luggage, to boot. Which seems to be the theme of this year, near tragedy.


After the earthquake, The Husband flew to Miami to wait for his brother to make it to the States. While he was gone, my step mom, who has been my step mom since I was a preschooler, went into the ER. Turns out she had a stroke. She's in her 50s. She spent a few days in the hospital and recovered about 99%, which is terrific. It was just scary, and kind of still is.


A day or two from the time my step mom was released from the hospital, my grandmother, who lives three hours away, was taken to the ER and then placed in intensive care. She remained in the hospital for over a month. We were told on two occasions that she wouldn't make it, and on one occasion we were told to hurry and drive up there as fast as we could if we wanted a chance to say goodbye. Terrible. My mom and I drove the three hours to see her every weekend, and I went alone a few times during the week. This was the reason for my first night away from Baby Girl. I slept in a hospital chair one night. There were trips afterward to help clean grandmom's house and stock her freezer with food. She's doing so much better now, she's still on dialysis, but is hanging in there. Again, and near tragedy.


Then about the time my grandmother was back at home, we found out that my mom had cancer. I wrote about it here. The uncertainty, the surgery, the LONG recovery. She had her six month scan a few weeks ago, everything looks good. She'll have regular scans for the rest of her life, but that's ok. Yet again, a very stressful event with the potential to become a tragedy, but it didn't. I know personally it gave me a few gray hairs.


We had a few months of quiet, during which The Husband's family cam to visit, and we all went to the beach together for vacation. It was a good time, a fun time.


Right after our beach vacation, I realized that I wasn't feeling so well. I was nauseous all the time and severely bloated. After a few weeks of this I went to the doctor and found out that my gallbladder wasn't working and it would have to come out. Not only that, but due to the radioactive nature of one of the diagnostic tests, the anaesthesia from surgery, and then having to take pain meds, I would have to stop nursing Baby Girl. That was a tragedy in and of itself. The surgery went well, the recovery was not fun, but thankfully I'm feeling much better.


Two days after my surgery The Husband had to take Little Man to an ENT appointment, and it turned out that he needed his tonsils out. So...we scheduled another surgery. I still wasn't fully recovered from mine when we were back in the same surgery center. Little Man's surgery went well, and he's sleeping so much better now. His whole mood and behavior have improved, evidently he was very sleep deprived from his enlarged tonsils.


Now my 89 year-old grandfather is in the hospital with pneumonia. They are expecting him to recover, but it's still hard on him. I hope he makes it home soon. Baby Girl has been sick with a cold (which has pretty much been her constant state since I quit nursing, go breast milk!) and she gave it to me (also pretty much consistent with the past few months), so I haven't been able to see him this week.

I don't write this as a "poor me" post, or to lament all that we've been through. When I think about it all together or see it in writing, it truly astonishes me that we've experienced all this in one year. Earthquake, mother having a stroke, grandmother nearly dying, mother with cancer and surgery, surgery for me, surgery for Little Man...it's a lot. We're still grateful, we're still happy, we're taking a big sigh of relief to put this year behind us! Really, we pulled through adversity and we're better than ever. We learned what is and what isn't important. We've grown closer and stronger. Growth may be painful but it sometimes is necessary.

So a year of, thankfully, near tragedies for us. I am well aware that it could have been a whole lot worse. Had any one of these incidences taken a different turn and 2010 would have been a very different year indeed. I am so very thankful that they didn't, and thankful for the good times we had. I'm hoping that 2011 is calmer, quieter, and HEALTHIER!!

Magic and breathing easier

It's December 28th and I just put away the Christmas tree and most of the decorations. I'm not usually so eager to have Christmas put back in the attic, but that tree was taking up precious storage space for toys. While I'm somewhat sad to see it gone, I can actually physically breathe easier now that we have a lot less visual clutter.

Ahh...

I did leave a few things up - the construction paper garland the kids and I made, the half-eaten gingerbread house, a couple of smelly good Christmas candles, and a few twinkly lights. We'll let the kids enjoy the Christmas magic a few days longer.

And on another note, Christmas magic...It's amazing how the littlest things are magical to the kids. Even after weeks of having them around, the twinkly lights and garland bring a big excited smile to the kids' faces. They keep begging to eat the gingerbread house, and I let them pick pieces off throughout the day. It doesn't taste good at all, but Little Man and Baby Girl haven't seemed to notice. Snow globes, I don't even know what to say about those! Grandma Monger gave each of the kids their very own snow globe last year, and this year as well. She wants to start a collection for them. The little ones go crazy for it. Shaking them up, watching the snow fall, listening to the tinkling music. Thank you, Monger.

And yet on another note, Monger left yesterday to spend a few weeks in Spain with the other branch of the family. Can I say that I'm a little jealous? She'll spend several days in Spain, then they're all off to the Canary Islands for a week-long vacation, then it's a few days more in Spain before coming home. Yes, I'm just a little jealous. Not only of the adventure, but of getting to see the family. I would love so much to be able to see my husband's side of the family more than once a year, and for my kids to grow up with cousins as best friends. Maybe one day....I'm not sure what we're going to do for this long without Monger. Little Man sincerely thinks she's going to be gone for two days, not two weeks. He's already asking if he can go over to her house to spend the night, and I'm looking at two weeks without help during the week. It can be done, I know, but Monger helps us out so much! Again, thank you, Monger. It's true what they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

And that is all I have to say, I'm off to vacuum and settle into a good book!

Best Christmas Yet

What I loved best about this Christmas, and in no particular order except stream of consciousness...

Making gingerbread house, Little Man and Baby Girl eating most of the candy before it could make it onto the house.

Little Man saying "I want that, and that, and that, and that. Mommy, I want ALL of it, everything on here!" (said while waving his arms around to indicate "everything") when toy catalogues came in the mail.

The 90th annual S.'s Christmas Eve party, which for me marks the beginning of Christmas each year. I love, love, love this party.

This year, I made my grandmother's, Memom's chex mix and Chinese New Year cookies for friends, teacher's gifts, and for those that help us every week - the mailman and garbage collectors. It's a tradition of Memom's that I'm helping to carry on for her.

Setting up the Dickens Christmas village this year. Memom gave me a piece for Christmas and for my birthday every year for about 5 years. I was 10 or so when she started, and not excited at all about it. But I love it now, and am so thankful for her forethought.

How my Memom is so close to my heart during Christmastime. I love her and miss her so much. Not a day goes by during Christmas that I don't think of her, it was her time of the year. She loved it so and gave and gave to others.

Little Man was really into Christmas morning this year, I have so many pictures with a genuine, excited, big smile, wide eyes, and a face full of wonder.

Putting Santa's cookies back in the bag, minus a few pieces which were crumbled up on Santa's plate, after the kids went to bed. Anticipating the excitement when the kids noticed that the cookies were gone and all that was left were crumbs.

Fixing up Baby Girl's baby crib with linens. Hot gluing ruffle underneath and knowing how much she would love it.

Seeing Monger cry at one of her presents, a puzzle made from a picture of all five of her grandkids playing in the sand at the beach from summer vacation.

Snuggling on the couch with the Hubs and Baby Girl on Christmas evening.

Missing Little Man like crazy after he went home with his Monger Christmas Day.

Realizing on Christmas Eve that I was content and fulfilled, and I really, truly didn't want for a thing, except to be with my family for the next two days.

Being filled with the spirit of Christmas, so much that it brought me to tears, realizing how very blessed we are in this life.

Actually being able to take our time opening presents on Christmas morning. The kids loved it, Momma and Daddy loved watching it.

Baby Girl and Little Man opening presents together, they literally helped each other open most of the gifts. There was nothing but cooperation and excitement for each other. They love each other so much and genuinely enjoy each others company. I am so thankful they are friends.

Little Man playing Santa, he knows his name, Baby Girl's name, and the words "mommy" and "daddy" by sight.

Little Man getting excited when he found a present with his name. I have a picture of him standing with a big present, he's pointing to his chest, has a happy look on his face, and is saying, "It says to ME!"

For your entertainment

A few entertaining tidbits from the kids...

This morning Baby Girl found some loose change lying around, and I think she liked them, because she decided to put them down the front of her footed pajamas, which she can zip and unzip by herself. So she's walking around jingling, and for the life of me I couldn't figure out where this jingling was coming from. Finally I understood, she's such a cute mess.

Also, her new word is "oatmeal," only it's the word oatmeal like you've never heard before.

"Meatmo."

Yep, she says "meatmo" for "oatmeal." As in, "I want meatmo," or "I ate it all meatmo." Again, she's a cute mess.

And from Little Man, or as we call him lately, "Bubby," (Baby Girl started calling him Bubba a long time ago, and we may be from the South, but I couldn't stomach the idea that a name like Bubba might stick, so we turned it into Bubby, which is a little better.) Anyway, over the last 24 hours or so, Bubby and I have had several detailed conversations about the exact definition of what it means to poop your pants.

Really?

Yes.

I seriously think I might have a future lawyer on my hands, my oh my.

I'll spare all the details, but his definition of pooping your pants differs slightly from mine, and he's trying to convince me that his definition is correct. Needless to say, we've had more than a few pooping in your pants incidences lately. Well, according to me, that is. If you ask Bubby, he's been an angel and has not pooped in his pants.

Nobody prepares you for this kind of parenting situation.

Bubby also now knows how to do jumping jacks, push ups, and sit ups. They are as coordinated as one would think four -year - old jumping jacks, push ups, and sit ups would be. It's ridiculously cute.

A cookie by any other name

Little Man and Baby Girl got into the habit of eating a granola bar every morning for breakfast. For a long time I was okay with it, I mean, it was better than a doughnut or super surgery cereal, right? But we've come a long way on our healthy eating journey, and while we don't always follow the right path, we really, really try to. So I came across a recipe for homemade, chewy granola bars. Granola bars without refined sugars, artificial ingredients, and preservatives, all right! The ingredients are simple, oats, natural peanut butter, coconut oil, and whatever mix of added ingredients you want - coconut, nuts, dried fruit, dark chocolate, pretty much whatever sounds good to you. So I made some - they were delicious. I ate them up. Baby Girl ate them up, too. Little Man, however, didn't take to them. They were "different" from his beloved granola bars, and he didn't like that. I kept offering them to him, and he kept refusing them. So one day I decided to call them something different. Something like,

"Chocolate Peanut Butter Cookie."

Guess who ate it right up?

So it's been awhile..

Never mind that I haven't written in months, oops.

This morning the cutest thing happened. We've recently moved Baby Girl into her own room. That's right, Little Man doesn't share his room with her anymore, and neither do The Husband and I. For the first time in over two years I don't have a pack n play with a sleeping baby in it at night. It's bittersweet, but mostly sweet.

Anyway, this morning Baby Girl woke up first, so I went upstairs to get her. She's so cute in the mornings, as soon as she sees you she says, "Hi, Mommy," or "Hi, Daddy." Adorable. So this morning I had just finished changing her, and Little Man walks into her room through their adjoining bathroom. Baby Girl sees him, jumps up, runs over to him, gives him a big bear hug, and says, "I love you, Bubby!"

Little Man just looked at her, but that's besides the point.

I've got a sweet baby girl!

Little Man's Favorite Sandwich

Well, it's very apparent that I've lost my blog mojo. That makes me a bit sad, only because the reason I blog is so I can remember some of the cute, sweet, and funny things my kids do on a daily basis. Well, I'm writing this tidbit down for posterity, so maybe when Little Man is 40 years old we'll be laughing about this - his new favorite sandwich, which is......

Bread, flat yellow cheese (cheddar), and mustard. No ham or turkey, mommy.

I am as surprised as anyone, but he ate it up!

Today, Mama lost it.

I know I've already written about how Little Man started preschool last week. Not parent's day out preschool, but "real" pre-kindergarten. Last week I was expecting tears on my part, but really none came.

Until today, that is.

Today was Little Man's second week of school, and really only his fourth day. But today held something new for me - I had to drop Little Man off in the carpool line. That's right, I had to let a stranger (a teacher at the school, but a stranger never the less) open my car door, unbuckle my newly four year old son, and walk him off to his classroom, all while I sat there and watched. Actually, I didn't really get to watch, because there were what seemed like a gazillion cars waiting behind me (this school's carpool is insane!), and I was encouraged to promptly drive away.

I had only rounded the corner (still on school property) before my face started to crumble. I didn't even know what was happening at first, the tears came and then the awareness of the emotions followed. Before I was on the street I was in full blown crying mode. I was only hoping to keep it together long enough to get away from the guys directing traffic and the other parents waiting at the stoplight. I was only semi-successful.

That was hard. An unexpected hard. Wow, it caught me by surprise. It's two hours later and I'm still tearing up thinking about it. I really enjoyed walking Little Man into his classroom, seeing the morning activities laid out, saying "Good morning" to his teacher, and giving him a hug goodbye. It doesn't seem like too much to ask, especially for a pre-k class. This morning made me realize that, even though I'm trying not to, I'm taking my babies for granted. They do grow up too fast. Little Man is already gone from me for three entire days, and while I'm glad he's learning and having fun, I don't really like it.

Maybe I should check into homeschooling...

Baby Girlisms - Finally!

Baby Girl is getting older - 22 months now - and she's talking a lot! She now has a few of her own "isms" to write about!

A new song she made up, "Abcdefghijklmno - eee, iii, eee, iii ohh."

These new phrases really aren't "isms,", but they sure are cute:

"Daddy's home!" - said whenever the dogs go crazy and bark at someone on the street.

"Where did paci go?" - said while looking for her paci, I just can't believe she formulated a correct four word utterance!

"Here you go!" - said in a cute singsong voice while handing me a cup of "water" from her "kitchen," and after holding the cup under the "faucet" and saying, "sshhh, sshhh" to mimic the sound of water flowing. Absolutely delicious!

"I see you!" - also said in a singsong voice while holding a magnifying glass up to her face and looking at me with a huge grin on her face.

She has also starting making a new face, I call it "Famous Smile." It's a smile just like her big brother used to make at this age, the waaayy over exaggerated smile and squinched up eyes, oh, it's so cute!

I just love my Baby Girl!

Little Manisms

On night recently The Husband asked Little Man (newly four) what he wanted to eat for dinner. Little Man thought a minute, looked at his daddy, and said,

"A bowl of candy with candy juice."

That really was what he wanted. I think The Husband learned that if you ask Little Man an open ended question you never know how he's going to answer!

School Days..

Have I mentioned that I love Little Man and Baby Girl's school? I'm sure I have, but I'll say it again.


I LOVE their school!


Today is Little Man's third day of pre-k, and he's loving it! Yesterday I picked him up, all smiles, and he talked the entire way home. Then, once we were home, he bounced around the house, still all smiles, and told me about his day. They had a Spanish encore class yesterday, and while we were eating an after school snack, he looked at me and said, "Hola, amigos!" How fun it that!?


So this morning I took the kids to school, Baby Girl is in PDO today, and I ended up staying for nearly an hour! I walked Little Man into his classroom (last day to do that, next week it's drop him off in the carpool lane :(. ), saw where he puts his bag and where his chair is, and talked to the teacher, who gave a great report. :) I also offered my assistance in the classroom, I told the teacher I'll make copies, cut out crafts, I'll do anything. I just want to be involved in Little Man's school in some way. I really hope she'll take me up on my offer, I think it would be so much fun!


Then it was off to take Baby Girl to PDO, and I realized we were early. I mean 15 minutes early for Early Birds, which is a program that lets parents drop their children off 30 minutes early. So we found a little person playground and played for a bit, and then went on to the classroom. Once there, I tried to drop Baby Girl off and leave, really I did, but there was only one teacher in Early Birds, and she had four babies, all of whom were crying! Oh no! She was acting so calm, she said not to worry, that she "had it," but I saw the look on her face, and knew she was overwhelmed. So Baby Girl and I stayed, I grabbed a crying baby, and walked around the room with two little ones in my arms. Once one baby calmed down I grabbed another. I loved it. Soon enough a few more teachers came in and there was enough help to go around, but I still wasn't about to leave Baby Girl there with all those crying babies, and we had a few more minutes before regular hours started. So...we went to the directors office, she's really sweet and so easy to talk to. I told her what had happened and then I said, "Do you need any extra help? I'll be happy to help." What had gotten into me!? I would love to help, though. I love holding the babies, even the crying ones. I wasn't even going to put Baby Girl into Early Birds, I was planning on dropping Little Man off, then running and errand or two, then coming back and dropping Baby Girl off. However, I soon realized the ridiculousness of this plan, and decided to enroll her in Early Birds. Truly, though, except for the one day I'm planning to work, she doesn't have to be there, so it would be easy to help. Anyway, while I was in the office, several of the teachers trickled in, and many of them have taken care of Little Man at some point, and they all asked about him and how he liked pre-k. A few said they've seen him on the campus, and they reported that he looks like he's having a great time. According to them, he's smiling, playing, and behaving well. One teacher said, "The class was walking down the hall in a line, and he was actually standing in line." It was so sweet for them to tell me this, it made my heart feel so good. Finally, it was time to take Baby Girl to her regular classroom, so we made our way to it, and I dropped her off. She cried, but only for a minute. I waved to the other teachers as I left.

I think I've made friends for life in some of those teachers.

Oh, and I love this school!

Better late than never

I am so behind on posting, which I really wouldn't care about, but so much has happened lately that I don't want to forget!

We had preschool orientation last week. It was just for parents. The Husband stayed home with the kids while I went up to the school. It felt like the first day of school for me, too. I was nervous. I actually dressed well [ ;) ], putting on a nice skirt and top instead of shorts and a t-shirt. I walked into the chapel, didn't see anyone I knew, so I just took a seat. Then the parents of one of Little Man's classmates from Parent's Day Out came and sat behind me. Whew! It was nice to see familiar faces. A few minutes later a woman patted the seat next to me and said, "Is this seat taken?" I said,"no," looked up, and saw - my neighbor! She didn't realize it was me when she sat down, too funny. Her son and Little Man are great friends, and he is one grade above Little Man, and it was great to see her. Instant relief! The headmaster spoke for a few minutes, he said he thought we were probably all relieved that school was about to start and glad that our preschoolers would be out of our hair. I was thinking, "Boy, you don't understand at all, nothing could be further from the truth." I was hoping the next speaker would be a little more inspirational, and wow she didn't disappoint. At first she had a few jokes, and she was truly funny. She started off by talking about the movie Forrest Gump, and how, many years before the movie was made, she coined a phrase similar to the movie's famous, "Life is like a box of chocolates." Her phrase is, "Life is like a box of crayons. " She talked about the evolution of the crayon box. It started out as a box of eight, then as more crayons were added, it became a box of 16, then 24. Now we have boxes of 64 crayons, even 124 crayons. She also talked about how nowadays the name of each color is printed in English, Spanish, and French, and how there is a Crayola Color Hall of Fame, where retired colors go. So crayons, like life, change, and we have to change with it. She took the analogy a bit further and said that a crayon box has but only one direction, printed next to the sharpener on the back of the box, and it reads, "tear off paper before sharpening." How many of us, as children, actually followed that one direction?" she asked. We usually just crammed that crayon on in and made a big mess, paper and all. Again, life is like a box of crayons. It was very funny, I wish I had actually written this last week when I could remember all the nuances of the speech. At the time I thought to myself, "I like this lady."

I can't even remember her name, or her position, but she is fairly new to the school, and she talked about how she decided to take her current job while attending last year's parent's orientation. She talked about how she had already been offered another job, and had her heart set on it, when she had the opportunity to interview at Little Man's school. She decided to see what this school was about, interviewed, and was open to but not set on taking the position. She asked if she could attend the orientation day to get a feel for the teachers and staff, and so she did. She started off by saying she watched the parents and orientation, which was good, then she attended a staff meeting, which was boring and not so good, but it was the event that occurred after the parents left and the meetings were over that she knew her heart belonged at this school. She said that, at this school, the teachers and staff have a dedication ceremony the afternoon of orientation. They come to the chapel and sing and pray. They hold hands, they build each other up spiritually, and they pray for our kids. Not as a group, but for each child individually. This person told us, how, before the ceremony, each teacher writes the name of each child in her class on a piece of paper, places the names up on the alter, and prays individually over each name. Oh wow, that kind of got me. A stranger praying for my son, praying for a happy school year. Praying (for my son as an individual) for learning to take place, for friendships to be forged, for personal growth to occur. I'm not ashamed to say I cried right then and there. I looked over at my neighbor and she was doing the same! I mean, how freaking sweet is that!? You won't find that at any old school. I was sold! Let the school year begin! I know my son will thrive in an environment such as this. Thank you, God, for pointing me in the direction of this school and making the road to it a smooth one.

Little Man and preschool

Little Man's first day of pre-kindergarten is today. This morning Baby Girl and I got ready, drove to school, and walked Little Man to his first day of "big boy" school.

He was very excited.

He talked about it all weekend, practicing his teacher's name (it's hard to pronounce, with lots of consonants, it's Greek) and talked about his new classroom. The Husband and I talked a lot about it, too. We discussed his new routine, his teacher, and about the other little boys in his room - just by chance it's an all boys room! He was ready to go!

This morning, however, he was not so sure. He stayed up late last night, it just seemed he couldn't sleep, and 30 minutes before we had to leave I was having a hard time waking him up. Little Man is slow to get going in the morning, he likes to take his time with his breakfast and "chocky" milk, he likes to watch cartoons in his pjs, and maybe "later on" he'll get dressed. There wasn't any time for that this morning, unfortunately. Still, we made it on time, but Little Man didn't want me to leave.

Talk about breaking a momma's heart. He clung to my leg, when I pulled on arm off he wrapped the other around me. I was holding Baby Girl so I was pretty much ineffective at prying him off of me and I had to leave it to the teacher. Sad. I brought my camera hoping to take a picture of him in his new classroom, but I knew better than to linger. As soon as the teacher removed Little Man from my legs I said a quick goodbye and skedaddled out of there. Little Man was fussing, but not all out crying.

I know he'll be okay, he really does like school.

Like every momma says, today is bittersweet. My firstborn is in school! I am so excited for him, I can't wait to see what adventures await him, what friends he will make, what kind of little school boy he will become. A great big new door has opened for him, and for The Husband and I as parents. There will be three days a week where Little Man growing and learning, but he will be away from me. I'm a bit sad about this. Gone are the carefree days of babyhood and toddlerhood. When people tell you it goes by fast, they mean it! I am appreciating Baby Girl's time at home a little more today. I am even going to welcome those days when I'm stuck at home with two children, ready to pull my hair out because they're fighting and fussing, and nothing suits them, because at least they'll be home with me. I am beginning to realize how fleeting this time is. I'm sad to say I've taken Little Man's time at home for granted. He's my first, I just didn't know.

Last night he wanted me to linger at bedtime, he wanted some extra snuggles. I obliged. I literally felt the passage of time, him growing away from me, ever so slowly, but moving away still. I hugged him harder. When, at 10:00, he quietly crept downstairs to sleep in our bed, I let him. I snuggled up to my boy and held him, wrapped my body around his and mentally poured all my love into him. I hope he felt it. I hope it filled him up so he can feel safe and secure and enjoy and thrive this new chapter of his life.

I love you Little Man.

Monkey see, Monkey do

I love watching Baby Girl copy her big brother. Bubby, as she calls him. She literally worships him, and will endure torture, on those days when Little Man's acting not-so-nicely, just be be around him. Whatever he does, she does, or at least tries to do. For example:

When Bubby screams his head off at any attempt to wash his hair, so does she, even though she used to love having her hair washed.

When he fusses or whines, so does she, even if for no particular reason.

When he comes running up for a hug, or climbs into the chair with me for a snuggle, Baby Girl soon follows, even though she was otherwise happily occupied.

and my favorite,

Little Man has a special lovey. It's one of those miniture blankets with a bear head on top, made to look like the bear is hugging the little blanket. Whenever Little Man is feeling insecure, sick, or just tired he has to have lovey, and he holds it in a particular way, up next to his nose, occassionally rubbing his face in it and closing his eyes to soak it all in. It's absolutely adorable. Anyway, when I became pregnant with Baby Girl, Grandma decided that this baby needed a lovey just like Little Man's, so she bought one. Baby Girl likes it ok, she's not really attached like Little Man is, but whenever she holds it, she does it just like her Bubby. She burries her face in it, rubs her nose on the soft cloth, and closes her eyes. Adorable times two.

Bye bye food, we'll see you again next time!

Little Man made a huge mess with his sister's play kitchen this morning. We have three big baskets full of play food and plates and things, and he dumped them out and scattered them about. Not really unusual behavior for my kids, but I get really tired of picking it all up. So...we've been working with the kids on their cleaning skills. This morning I asked Little Man to pick up all the kitchen food, put it in the baskets, and put the baskets inside the kitchen. So he started dumping all the food in a little slot in the back of the kitchen, and it ends up in a big mess behind the refrigerator door. I had to stop him and say, "No, put the food back in the baskets then put the baskets inside the kitchen." He obliged, for a few minutes, and then he must have gotten distracted, as you can see.


I couldn't say anything, though, because he was doing a great job cleaning up. He moved the kitchen away from the wall and picked up all the food behind it. He moved the kitchen a few feet forward to get to all the food under it. The kitchen sits next to a big, heavy armoire, and Little Man got on his belly and slithered under it to fish out even more food. Then he stuffed it all in the oven part, you can see it through the clear door. He put forth an excellent effort, and did a very thorough and thoughtful job. He made his momma proud.

Birthday Boy :)

Little Man is four - FOUR! As I sit here and type I wonder where the years have gone? It literally seems like yesterday that I was big and pregnant, miserable in the July heat, just waiting for those first telltale signs of labor that would let me know I was about to become a mother. Wow. I just might cry.

Our little guy's birthday seemed to start on Thursday, when we received his information packet from his preschool in the mail. It contained a lot of this and that, but what I really seemed to fixate on was the carpool tag. Our packet contained a bright sheet of official looking laminated paper with our last name on it. For some reason I really felt that piece of paper. A car pool tag. I was about to be one of "those" moms, sitting in a carpool line, passing the time by reading a book, or talking on the phone, and with a big sticker sitting in my windshield. Seeing that made me feel old on an entirely new level. Not in a bad way, not at all, just in a new way.

Then on Friday we took the kids to their PDO and never let on to Little Man that there would be a surprise. Just before lunch, The Husband arrived to pick Little Man up, early! Little Man was so excited! Unfortunately, it was a piece of bad luck that Baby Girl's class happened to be in the hall, so Baby Girl caught sight of her Daddy. Baby Girl did not get to leave early, and I've been told it was not a pretty sight. Poor thing. Anyway, as if getting to leave early with Daddy wasn't great enough, Daddy drove to the movie theatre, where I was waiting with tickets to Little Man's first movie! We saw Despicable Me, and he absolutely loved it. He sat in a seat in between us, and on our laps some, he was so cute. I wish I could have taken a picture, but I'm sure the other patrons wouldn't have appreciated my blinding flash going off in the middle of the movie. He sat in his seat so intently, with a bag of skittles in one cup holder, a bag of popcorn in his lap, and a drink in the other cup holder. In other words, he was set. At one point Daddy left to go to the restroom, and when he came back, Little Man said (loudly), "Daddy, you missed a lot of parts." Later on he sat in my lap for a bit, with he legs resting on my legs, his head laying on my chest, all snuggly, and every on in a while he would reach back and hand me one of his cherished skittles. He really is such a thoughtful boy, it warms my heart. After the movie we went home, had an early dinner, then ate cake and opened presents. It was a good day!



The next big adventure of his birthday weekend was his party. For months preceding his big day, Little Man said he wanted a "digger dirt" party. Then, as we got closer and closer to his birthday, he said he wanted a firetruck party, then a Thomas the Train party, then a tractor party. Each day he wanted something new, there were just too many great choices! Finally, at the very last minute (invitations ended up getting mailed a week late so he could decide for sure), he decided on a tractor party. I found the cutest little invitations and cupcake toppers, as well as a tractor shirt with Little Man's name and the number "4" on it, and a tractor barrette for Baby Girl. All very cute, I'm so thankful for etsy! I made Little Man's cake, a round cake with green fondant, a dirt road made with crumbled graham crackers, hay bales made from rice krispies, and a fence, lake, and grass made from the best tasting butter cream. Oh yeah, I can't forget about the tractor, which sat on the dirt road. At the last minute Little Man asked if he could also have Thomas on his cake (yikes!), so we rigged up a little Thomas train on a circular track that went around the base of the cake. All of our family and many little friends were there. This year was a first for us, having a big friend party. Baby Girl and Little Man attend a Music for Aardvarks class, and their teacher came to the party and held a special birthday class. I am so glad he did that for us, the kids, even the bigger kids, had so much fun. Their teacher had a big parachute, a bubble machine, shakers, drums, you name it. We danced to "Groove is in the Heart!" Little Man and the rest of the kids, jumped, danced, twirled, and laughed for an hour straight. F-U-N!


Well, that concludes Little Man's fourth birthday, it's going to be hard to top next year! ;) I can't believe it's over, that the little baby who made me a mommy is already four. He is such a blessing, he has such a warm heart and a happy spirit. I am so glad to be his mom.

Little Disciplinarian

Baby Girl's definitely picking up on the "goings on" around here. Tonight, in a moment of quiet, she ran to the fireplace with all it's tiny black rocks, grabbed a fist full of them, and threw them as far as she could. When it happened I didn't even say anything, just looked up in surprise, then watched in amazement as my sweet baby walked herself over to the staircase and sat on the bottom step. The naughty step. Now Baby Girl has only been in time out maybe twice in her life, and it was probably for decking her big brother. When I try to recall her rare time outs I just remember funny, with me trying not to laugh as I led her somberly to the bottom step and her looking at me as she smiles and giggles. Not really much of a time out, really, but she's one, so that's okay. Tonight, though, I think she got it, even though Momma laughed the whole time she sat there. She did something she knew she shouldn't, and she took care of the consequences. She was actually really proud of herself for it. Self-discipline's a hard pill to swallow, but my baby girl's doing all right!

Painted Baby

Baby Girl decided to fight a can of paint.

Outdoor, primer-and-paint-in-one kind of paint.

You know, the thick stuff.

Needless to say, Baby Girl lost the battle.

She was covered in paint.

Her outfit, a nice one with a pretty matching bow, is ruined.

Why The Husband though it would be wise to let Baby Girl stay outside with him while he began painting is beyond me.

I mean, your hands are kind of busy when you're painting.

So busy, in fact, that you'll probably have a hard time reaching your baby daughter, the one who's in the process of sticking her arm down a can of paint, in time.

I, of course, would have brought her inside had I known that The Husband had started painting, but I though he was still messing around with the prep work.

Silly me, guess I'll know better next time. ;)

Random Ramblings

A few cute quips about the kids -

Baby Girl has a few new words. Well, a lot of new words, since it's been forever and a day since I've posted about her. Her new favorite phrase: "I want cookie." Many of her new words have to do with food, as my girl likes to eat! Last night The Husband, Baby Girl, and I went out to eat. (Little Man was at grandma's house.) As The Husband and I were getting ready, my little daughter walked into the bathroom, looked up at her daddy, and said, "Eat. I want snack. I want cookie." It was absolutely melt your heart in your chest cuteness.

Little Man is growing up into such a sweet little boy. He went to Vacation Bible School for the first time last week, and I was so proud of him. He had the time of his life. Every day he came home so full of excitement, telling stories about his day, about his friends, and how much fun he had. Our neighbor's kids were going to the same VBS, so after the first day they offered to drive Little Man there and bring him home. So sweet. Little Man, my child who usually clings to me in new situations, went without a second thought. Of course, one of his best friends, Z. belongs to our neighbor, and the thrill of getting to ride in the car with his little friend was incentive enough for him to go without mom. It was a big step for both of us, and a lesson in letting him go. On the last day of VBS, I asked him what he learned that day, and he said, "That heroes (the theme for the week was how even little people can be heroes) are brave and save the day. And don't ever let anyone put you down." Ahhh!!! It was so cute, I felt like my face would break I was smiling so big, and I had to try very hard not to laugh. It was just the cutest thing. :)

Life has been good, so very good lately. I've really tried to focus on the good, and when I get stressed or overwhelmed I go grab a little person and hug them and tickle them under the chin and just enjoy the moment. Are there piles of stuff still waiting to be done afterward? Yes, but the stress is gone. And as life always does, when you put "good" out into the universe, it always comes back to you. On a random night a few weeks ago my friends and I had a girl's dinner. It ended way too soon, so on the way home I stopped at the bookstore and roamed the aisles. I just randomly picked up the book Eat, Pray, Love, and just as randomly decided to buy it. All I can say is wow, just wow. Amazing. I hope I can hold on to the feeling of that book forever.

On another note, I need to update on my mom, and I can say it again, "LIFE IS GOOD! GOD IS GOOD!" Mom had her surgery, how long ago was it, 5, 6 weeks ago? However long since I've written in this old blog, I know that. Well, the surgeon was able to remove all of the tumor, it hadn't appeared to have spread, and he did not recommend further treatment. Have a little surgery, cured of malignant cancer. How about that?! Of course, mom will have to be monitored for a while, and will have regular scans to make sure the thing doesn't come back, but at this moment that is all she needs. She did very well in the surgery, and very well in her recovery. She had major surgery on a Thursday and was home on a Sunday. Back to work part- time two weeks later and now is at work full-time. The kids have to be a bit careful around her, but they love to look at her scar, which I have yet to see (that's on purpose, too!). Wow, I'm getting a bit emotional just thinking about it, it's been a few weeks since I've seriously thought about it. What a precious gift we all were given, Mom, my step-dad, me, my children, that Mom's cancer was found. What a precious gift that the golf ball-sized, malignant tumor was able to be surgically removed. What a precious gift that Mom didn't need nasty chemo or nasty radiation. What a precious gift that my children have a healthy Gram in their lives.

God is so very good to us!

Ah, kids...

Yesterday morning was one of those mornings I would like to forget. Or not, it did have some comedic value after all.

It was sort of a prickly day. If you couldn't tell, life has been sort of prickly lately. We've been working hard to make lemons out of lemonade, and I think we've done a fair job. Could be better, could be worse, but we're trying and that's what counts.

Well, we woke up yesterday with a Little Man in our bed. He had a high fever the night before, and a cough, and he wanted to snuggle with mom and dad. I love snuggling with him as much as he loves snuggling with me, and I especially love to snuggle when he needs me, so how could I refuse? The point being is that having a feverish, coughing pre-schooler in one's bed kind of interferes with getting a good night's sleep. Whatever, we got up, made coffee, breakfast, got going a little bit, when Little Man tells me that he's pooped in his pants. Uh-oh, I think. Then I remembered that he woke up in a dry pull-up, and I hadn't changed him yet. Oh thank goodness! I go to check on him, and my thankfulness lasts for only about a minute, for when I went to change him, I saw that he had poop running down one of his legs. Gross.

Did I mention that he happened to be standing on a pile of toys at the time?

Why, Little Man, why?

You rarely if ever just stand on a pile of toys, yet you do so when you have poop running down your leg??!!

I took a deeeeppp breath.

So, I got on to cleaning him up, and trust me, it was a big job. Anyway, I guess I wasn't quite all the way awake, because I didn't realize that there was a mess on the toys, and on the floor. Now the rest of the story reminds me of a sitcom. While I was changing Little Man, Baby Girl stole his breakfast, a granola bar, something she covets yet rarely gets to eat. It was a chocolate chip granola bar. Whenever she sneaks one of these she makes a huge mess of the chocolate. So when I saw that she was covered in "chocolate" I didn't think too much about it. (It was early, obviously I needed my coffee, I was a little slow that morning.) I continue to clean Little Man, which takes a while. In the meantime, Baby Girl is walking around, getting on the couch, playing with different toys. After several minutes, I go to wash the "chocolate" off of her. Now maybe by now you've realized that it wasn't actually chocolate on Baby Girl. I don't really have to write what it was, do I? Let me just say, it was a mess. Two children ended up taking a bath at 8 in the morning, toys and sofas got wiped down and sanitized with Lysol, and Mama wanted a glass of wine in the worst way. I hope it's not bad that I wanted a glass of wine at only 8 am!

Don't worry, I was good, I waited until 8 pm for that wine.

There's more, but it's not as funny. It has to do with a sippy cup that became wedged in between Little Man's mattress and his bed frame. The sippy cup was full of milk. Was. The several day-old milk seeped into the side of his mattress. Still working on getting that one out. Wish me luck, man alive...


This last one is really funny. After the whole leaky poopy thing I was really trying to watch what Little Man ate. Well, we had just bought strawberries at the store the day before. Expensive, organic strawberries. After shopping, as I was loading up the car with our groceries, with Baby Girl in the front of the shopping cart and Little Man in the back, what did Baby Girl do but to reach in one of the grocery bags, pull out the expensive organic strawberries, open the container, and spill most of them out into the cart and pavement. Oh it hurt, hurt. An aside: I don't like to spend money on food. I'm still getting used to this whole new lifestyle of buying healthy, high quality food instead of whatever's on sale. Anyway, I saved most of the strawberries, but they had been in the yucky cart. I decided a good washing would be enough...cough, ahem, maybe. I wasn't about to throw away $5 strawberries, maybe I have flawed thinking here, but it is what it is. Well, as of yesterday morning I hadn't washed them yet, and Little Man wanted strawberries. I told him he couldn't have any because they could make him go potty, and goodness knows we didn't need anymore pottying around here. (I didn't know if his diarrhea was a fluke or an actual bug - thankfully it was a fluke.) So, after the kids had a bath, I went upstairs to put Baby Girl down for a nap while Little Man watched cartoons downstairs. While I'm upstairs, and out of sight, Little Man gets an idea. He thinks he should eat some strawberries, so he does. He sneaks six of them. (Oh, it just makes me want to throw up, why didn't I wash them immediately!?) Here's the funny part. The only reason I found out about the one-man strawberry party is that I found the stems. He had hidden three in the fridge. I found those immediately. Later on that night I found three more, in the freezer. By the time I had found them, Little Man had already gone to bed, and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. It was creative, all right. Gonna have to watch that one, and well, the other one, too. ;)

Looking up...sort of.

So many emotions are swirling around inside me right now. I'm a big ole merry-go-round of fear, sadness, relief, guilt, and hope, with a big dose of a fight-it attitude.

The results of Mom's second test came back, and her doctors are recommending surgery. The good news is that her ovaries are fine, not a speck on them. The bad news is that she has two very suspicious tumors on one of her kidneys. I learned that after 50, lumps/cysts/tumors on the kidneys are normal, but the doctors don't like the looks of two of these spots. A biopsy is not recommended, because the tumors have a bit of fluid in them, and they don't want any of the fluid to seep into Mom's system, in case they are indeed cancerous. So...she's having a portion of her kidney removed, in a little under two weeks.

This is one of the scariest journeys I've ever been on.

I'm thinking a lot about my sweet husband, who lost his father to cancer a little over two years ago. One of my most recurrent thoughts, "Ahh, so this is what he felt like. I'm so sorry, sweetie, I only wish I'd known..."

This is the stuff of life. This is what makes us who we are. This is what makes us savor, enjoy, and eat up with a spoon the normal, beautiful, everyday days that make up our life.

In a weird sort of way, this is the perfect mother's day gift. I know that sounds morbid, but nothing makes one appreciate a mom like the thought of losing her. I'm reminded of all the fun times, the sweet, selfless things my mom did for me. Forget all the other stuff. In the 3 1/2 years since I've been a mom, I've learned that mom's make mistakes, too, sometimes big ones.

Remember the good, forget the rest.

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8)."

Unsettling

Well, mom called. Her scan was not exactly normal. She is going in for a second test today.

This is scary. Honestly, I'm in shut-down mode. It's either that or full freak-out mode, which would not be helpful to anyone.

Wishing this weren't happening. I'm having to remind myself to trust in God. He will pull us through, whether this turns out to be just a scare or a full-fledged family situation.

Agenda for the day:

Trust.

Have Faith.

Pray.

Listen.

Take a deep breath.

Love on my babies.

A few hours later -

Ok, so to be honest I'm not in shut-down mode. I know this because I feel like I'm barely keeping a panic attack at bay. Heart racing, feels like my blood pressure is through the roof, having a hard time getting a deep breath, just want to sit on the couch or lie in my cozy bed and forget the world exists. Not going to happen, I have two little monkeys who are bored and letting me know it. Still waiting to hear back from mom. Seconds are trickling by like hours and hours have been stretched out like days. This is the longest day ever.

Letter Days

When I was about 9 or 10, I read this book called Night of the Twisters. I was obsessed with/terrified of storms, mainly tornadoes. Not too strange since we typically have a few hit our area each year. Anyway...I remember how the book begins, talking about red letter days and black letter days. About how they almost always start out like any other day. You wake up, get ready, go about your business, and then BAM, something happens to make it memorable, for the good or the bad.

I was reminded of that opening, to a book I read 20+ years ago, when my mom called me tonight.

She told me that her doctor feels that she has some indications of ovarian cancer.

My mom. Black. Letter. Day.

Her doctor is not diagnosing her, but sending her out for a special kind of scan. Never mind that before I had kids, I worked in the medical field, but the name/type of the scan escapes me. I've noticed that medical knowledge tends to flee when it concerns a family member.

Normally I would not be upset about this. My mom is one of those people who is always going to the doctor for some weird thing. If she doesn't like the answer one doc gives her, she'll go to another, and another. It sounds harsh, but when she's talking about her medical woes, I've kind of learned to tune it out, or take it with a grain of salt.

This is different.

A few weeks ago I almost called her and told her she needed to get tested for ovarian cancer. I had the most overwhelming feeling that I needed to tell her this. I had watched a segment of a talk show, and a doctor on the show said something that resonated so well with one of my mom's mysterious symptoms, and then he said it was a good indicator of ovarian cancer. Apparently doctors are learning more and more about this cancer, and they are starting to recognize some warning signs. Anyway...I didn't call. I didn't want to create drama, as I knew it would freak my mom out. I mean, it would freak me out if someone called me and told me that. Besides, her mysterious symptom had been diagnosed as something else and treated. Still, I felt that I should call her, but I didn't.

The lesson here is to listen to your intuition. How many times am I going to have to be shown that?!

Mom also has a few other seemingly (and hopefully) random symptoms that could indicate ovarian cancer. Scary

Her scan is Monday. That's a long time to wait. I can't believe I'm writing this down, but my mom and I have a bit of a rift in our relationship. I'm not sure what the source of it is, but it's there. When I think about our relationship, I feel like a total and complete sh*t. Excuse me for saying so. I've been a bit of a witch to my mom over the years. Not overtly, not purposely, but still. I will be immediately working on that.

My prayer is that this will all blow over and everything will be okay. That maybe this is the nudge I've needed to chuck all the baggage out the window and just wholly love my mom for who she is, flaws and all. She certainly loves me for who I am, flaws and all. I've been praying lately for something to give in out relationship and that we could somehow manage to be closer, like we used to be. Maybe this is God's answer. I have been told before to be careful what you ask for, you just might get it, but not the way you expected.

I'm hoping that in hindsight, I will see this as a Red Letter Day after all.

*Praying*

I love you, too, Baby Girl. :)

I know I just wrote the post about how Little Man initiated saying "I love you" for the first time.

This one's about you, Baby Girl.

My sweet girl loves the song, "Skinny marinky dinky dink, skinny marinky doo. III looovvve yoouu...." We sing it nearly every day, and she always sings along, especially the "I love you..." part. I mean it's mostly vowels, which are super easy for a baby to sing along to. "Eye uuu ooo." Adorable, adorable, adorable, adorable!

Today we sang the song as I was putting her down for a nap. After we were done, I gave her one last squeezy hug and laid her in her crib. We did that lovey-dovey gazing and smiling at each other for a bit, then I stroked her cheek and said, "Night, night, Baby Girl." Her reply? To take the paci out of her mouth, look into my eyes, and say in the sweetest voice I ever heard,

"I uuu ooo."

Followed by a bashful, proud smile.

Oh Baby Girl, I love you, too. I love you to pieces!

It's Gone Too Far

For breakfast - Cookie Crisp and a glass of milk with a generous shot of chocolate syrup
Snack - Jellybeans
Lunch - McDonald's Happy Meal (hamburger, fries, chocolate milk, cookies)
Snack - Pringles, Dove chocolate, more Cookie Crisp, a Kool-Aid drink (basically water, flavor, food coloring, and HFCS) and candy
Misc. - numerous undiluted sippy cups full of juice, chips, crackers and cookies here and there

A junk food addict's dream?

No.

Sadly, this is what Little Man ate at his grandma's house today. (which grandma is was doesn't really matter)

(I witnessed the afternoon snack food orgy myself. Little Man, Baby Girl, and Grandma all stuffing their faces with junk as fast as they could before I came back into the room. Really???)

I'm a bit in shock about the amount of junk, of non-food, that my sweet baby ate.

He's been miserable all night. His sugar high turned into a sugar low. He was tired, cranky, his stomach hurt. It's 9:30 at night and he's still awake and complaining of a stomach ache. He wouldn't touch his healthy dinner I made for him, even the stuff he loves.

I totally understand how a grandma would want to spoil her grandson, to give him the treats he desires. But come on, boundaries anyone? At least offer the kid some fruit with his junk.

Sheesh.

Sadly, this is pretty typical of what Little Man eats when he sees this particular grandma. The Husband and I have talked and pleaded with her not to feed him mass quantities of this non-food. A treat - sure, junk all day long - no. We've informed her of what this kind of food does to his little body. How eating non-food like this is priming him to develop diabetes and is for sure causing him to develop bad eating habits. Using the expression, "we talked until we were blue in the face" is appropriate here. Unfortunately, it's done nothing. We've also brought food over to her house, made lists of yummy, healthy snacks that Little Man loves and will eat, and gone grocery shopping with her.

It still hasn't helped, she feeds him this non-food anyway. Hasn't made a difference, not at all.

Now I know that The Husband and I aren't perfect examples of perfect eating, I'll admit to that. However, if we feed Little Man chocolate muffins for breakfast, we pair it with some fruit, and later on provide a healthy snack and lunch. Trust me, there's no deprivation in this house, but it's not a free-for-all, either.

I'm not sure what to do. I can't just let it go anymore, not at this level. Little Man sees this grandma on a regular enough basis that this kind of feeding is not acceptable. She is teaching him horrible eating habits, not the least of which is to hide what he is eating from his parents and to sneak food behind our backs. Not okay, not at all.

What to do, what to do?

I'm at a loss. Ideas anyone?

Love-o-meter Goes Through the Roof

Today, at 3 3/4 years of age, for the first time ever, Little Man initiated saying "I love you, Mommy."


Sweetest words I ever heard.


Just like a boy, to make a girl wait (and wait, and wait, and wait). It was worth it, Little Man. I love you, too.

An Addition to "Why I'm always cleaning and yet it's always a mess..."

First there's the normal stuff -

Baby Girl loves to rearrange my bookcase every chance she gets:




I guess this is normal, too, for a house with little imps -

Little Man and Baby Girl removed all the clean clothes I had neatly placed over the side of the pack n' play and dumped them on the floor. Then they moved the pn'p here and there, finally settling by the bed. The Husband later found the clothes (clean, remember!) on the floor and unceremoniously heaped them on the bed. Yes, they will have to be rewashed.

Then there's what seems like "over the top" -

You know those furry things that fall from the trees each spring? In our house we call them Woolly Worms or Twirlies. Regardless of what one calls them, I loathe them. Our dogs roll in the grass and come inside absolutely covered in them. To my dismay, this is a common sight on the couch, the bed, all over the rug, the floor, etc., in my house each spring. Shudder:

Hope you're having a good laugh, if you want more check out Part 1 and Part 2.

A Hungry Boy

At the McDonald's window a while back,

Little Man (yelling): "Hey, Lady, gimme some food!"

So unexpected from my somewhat shy, somewhat quiet young son.

So terribly cute. He was very proud of himself.

I think next we will work on a few manners. Before you know it Little Man will be saying, "Excuse me, Ma'am, may I have some food?"

Hmm, maybe not. ;)

A Burping Boy

My three-year-old son has taught himself how to burp at will.

He did this all by himself, with absolutely no help from his mom or dad.

He takes a drink, makes a funny face, swallows air, and lets one out. Then he laughs like crazy, shows his famous smile, and says, "I burpted!"


He is so very proud of himself.

Little Things

So much happening and so little time to sit down and write!

I guess I'll just type out a few quick things, there's too much swirling in my brain to pound out a regular post.

We're having some work done to our rental house next door. The rental doesn't have a driveway, and since "The Guys," as Little Man calls them, have trucks with trailers and equipment and things, they've been using our driveway. So mom's had to park on the street. This morning Little Man comes up to me and said, "Mommy, you didn't do a very good job parking your car." He says this as he shakes his head. Then he says, with hand motions to match, "Your tires should be straight, not turned like this." When did you turn into such a grownup, my sweet firstborn?

Little Man is having a fantastic time having "The Guys" around. He looks out the window, "The Guys are here!" or "The Guys left!" I hear, "I want to go in the backyard and see how The Guys are doing," at least 20 times a day. Little Man loves anything to do with construction, or repair, or building. He loves to see and figure out how things work, I could sit and watch him for hours try to figure things out. Who knows what he'll eventually do with that little brain of his.

Not to be left out, Baby Girl is also very entertaining these days. She now climbs into her highchair all by herself. She doesn't know how to get down, so once she climbs up there, she's stuck! She's singing more and more of "Baa Baa Black Sheep." She mainly produces the vowel sounds, but she has all of the song down pat. Baa baa ba see av oo a-e ool? Eh er, eh er, ee ba ool. On oo ei ater on oo ei am. On oo ei eel on oo e own a an. Ba ba ba see av oo a-e ool? Eh er, eh er, ee ba ool. The other day she said, "NO" for the first time. It was to her big brother, of course. When you ask her to blow a kiss, she'll smack her lips then put her hand up to her lips. When you ask her for a hug she does the same thing! Cute!

That's about it. It's a cool, rainy day. Perfect for open windows and nice breezed. I'm about to go enjoy.

Small Sacrifices

I gave up diet coke for Lent.

That's big time, Big Time, for me.

I do love me some diet coke.

What I do for and give up for Lent isn't something that I advertise, but over the course of five or so weeks, a few people, mostly family, do figure it out. I get a few interesting responses. Some people completely understand the Lenten concept, and are encouraging. Then others look at me like I've grown a second head and are obviously wondering why one should bother. Last year, at the beginning of Lent, a relative (a very opinionated and much-loved one ;) ) went so far as to tell me it was "stupid" to give up something for Lent, that God didn't need you to "deprive yourself from something you love" in order to honor Him. I must admit, that statement rattled me a bit. He did have a point. "Why do we give up cherished activities, things, or food for Lent?" I thought. At the time I didn't really have an answer.

I should say that last year was the first year I have participated in Lent since I was a teenager. As a child, I went to a Catholic school, so every spring the kids would talk about their Lenten sacrifices. Back then I always cheated during Lent, and the whole experience was just a sort of burden I was required to participate in for school. No chocolate for a month and a half? Yeah, right! Thankfully, as an adult, the experience of Lent has been quite different. It's not any easier, although my impulse control has improved, as if often does with age! No, giving up my cherished loves (last year - Starbucks, that was hard!) is still difficult, but now it's meaningful. Powerful even. What I've learned about life, faith, God's love, and myself from making small sacrifices is staggering, I can even say life changing.

Yeah, I said it. My life has changed by simply giving up Starbucks and diet coke for a few weeks.

Wow.

Here's how I see it. So I'm having a day where I'm really jonesing for a diet coke, I mean hard -core gotta have it. Oh yeah, they're still stocked in the fridge, the fridge that this stay-at-home mom looks at all day. The Husband doesn't really like the idea of giving up diet coke until Easter, so I still buy them for him. Most of the time I'm fine, but there are days when the craving for a coke gets so bad that I'll open the fridge and just look at them. Then - I - have - to - back - away.
Practicing self control is no fun, but it's so good for me.

Ok, so back to the how I see it part. So I want a diet coke and can't have one. It really, really stinks in the moment, but in reality what's the big deal?

Wanting something I can't have reminds me that there are people who are truly needy. I think about the people that want nutritious food and don't have any. Of those that want shelter, a warm, welcoming home, medicine and access to health care, safety and security for their children. Heck, just the ability to care for and feed their children. I have those things, and much, much more. My house may be smallish and simple, but many people in the world would consider it a palace. We never, ever go hungry around here, as anyone can plainly see, and we can pick up and go to the doctor anytime we please. It may cost us an arm and a leg, but we can still go and pay for it without sacrificing another necessity. My kids have abundance of excellent educational opportunities, and thankfully, The Husband has the ability to provide well for us all. We have lots of love, fun, and laughter.

It's a beautiful, wonderful life. It's my life, the life that I have. How wonderful is that?

Giving up diet coke, or Starbucks, puts my life in perspective, in a big way. During Lent, and for a long while afterwards, my approach towards life changes. My thinking changes. My view goes from, "I want...we need...I don't have...," to "I'm so thankful that we have.... we are so blessed."

As if that weren't enough, there's more. Small sacrifices make me more compassionate towards others. I'm reminded to pray more for the needy, I'm more generous with my giving. Sacrificing, no matter how small, reminds me that we are a society, that we're not all in it for ourselves. I'm reminded that the lives of others are just as important as our lives. What a wonderful lesson, one that I know I could use from time to time.

Powerful lessons can be learned by giving up a simple, but much-loved thing. I almost hope that this year my relative tells me again that Lenten sacrifice is "stupid." This year I have a thing or two I can share about that.

Not much

I don't have much to say.

I do, however, have to tell on The Husband.

The Husband helped to give the kids a bath tonight. We were all up there together, having a great time talking and watching the kids play in the tub. Our kids love bathtime.

Well, the bath does have a business aspect to it, so eventually I got around to washing Baby Girl, and The Husband got around to washing Little Man.

I'm kind of watching out of the corner of my eye, just a habit of mine, something I don't even realize I'm doing most of the time.

Well, I see The Husband take a clean washcloth, and where I attack bathing face first, he attacks Little Man's behind first.

The behind that just did some business.

Yuck.

I mentioned to The Husband that maybe it would be more sanitary if he washed the behind last, you know, since it's the dirtiest.

He took the bait and replied, "Well, why would I wash it last when I can wash it first and follow with the face?"

Ugh.. The sad part is he was only half joking.

I also need to say that this is the same man, who when I was big and pregnant with Baby Girl, did all the bathing of Little Man.

One day I caught him washing Little Man without using any soap, just a washcloth and water.

Then I found out this had been going on for quite some time.

His excuse that time was something equally lame, I can't remember exactly, but something like the water got Little Man clean enough without soap.

Men.

Oh well. So maybe Little Man hasn't been as clean as I've always thought he was. I guess he's no worse off for it. I do hope, though, that The Husband starts washing the face first and then the behind.

I mean we kiss that sweet face.

Craaazy

Did a kick-butt workout this morning. Afterwards I felt super skinny and toned. I was so excited!! I tried on some of my cute summer clothes, which DO fit better than they did a few weeks ago! I felt like a goddess. By then I was cooled off, so I took a shower. By the time I got out of the shower I felt like a gelatinous blog again. Am I going crazy or were my post-workout endorphins really that strong? Hmmm...

Playing Catch-up

Well.... obviously I've not been much into blogging lately. The kids have done so many, many cute and funny things and I always think, "Oh, I need to blog about that before I forget it!" then of course I forget it. The kids are active now, to put it mildly, and we are having a lot of fun! Even so, even fun can zap your mental energy, and blogging always falls to the bottom of the list. But I've found a few minutes tonight, so here are just a few things that have happened lately:

Baby Girl is singing! She sings the first part of "Baa Baa Black Sheep." It goes like this - "Baa Baa Ba She." Absolutely Adorable. I think she's also tried her hand at "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star" but it's a bit hard to tell, it may just be wishful thinking on my part.

Little Man is totally in love with his little sister, and it's amazing to see. He says things like, "I will share (insert name of his favorite toy of the day) with her and help her play." The other night they were outside in the dark while The Husband was grilling our dinner, and he said to his daddy as he held his sister's hand, "I will keep her safe out here, and I will keep her brave." So, so sweet. Whenever The Husband and Little Man build a fire in the chiminea, they go to the side of the house, where it is dark, to find wood. Little Man always asks his daddy to go with him and keep him brave. I thought it was the sweetest thing that he would do the same for his baby sister. One of my greatest hopes in life is that they are one of each other's best friends throughout life. They're off to a good start!

Today we were thinking about our family over in Europe. Little Man has a new favorite book, called The Story of Ferdinand, which is about a bull in Spain. He has to read this book at least twice every night, and today he asked if he could draw a picture of one of his favorite pages. He drew some grass, a cork tree, a bumblebee, and Ferdinand the Bull, it was so good! He decided he wanted to send it to his cousins, like the thoughtful Little Man that he is, so off we sent it. He was so proud, and so was his momma.

Last week we bought a membership to our Botanic Gardens. They have a wonderful permanent children's exhibit, so the membership was well worth the cost. After I bought it I realized that we now have a membership to the zoo, the children's museum, and the gardens. I don't know if the kids are spoiled or we are!

Well, as I expected I had about ten different things on my "to write" list, but I can't remember them. Hmm, I may have to start jotting my ideas down on paper. I can't keep forgetting super cute things like, "Baa Baa Ba She!"

Emotions

I'm not sure why I'm such an emotional mess right now, but I am.

Take a look at my recent posts and you can see it for yourself.

Maybe I should have thought of that before I went through the kids' old clothes.

Little Man and Baby Girl each have a big plastic bin that sits on the floor of their closet. When something has gotten too small, or is out of season, I put it in the bin. That way I know that if something's hanging up, then it fits, and I clear room in their closet for new things. Anyway, it had been a year since I went through the bins, and they were overflowing. So in my very emotional, I'm having a good cry at least once a day (the good kind, but crying none-the-less) state, I decide it's time to sort out the clothes into keep, donate, and consign piles.

I cried.

A lot.

Each outfit has such memories.

Little Man was wearing this when he did his cute happy dance in front of the fridge while holding his Lovey and with his blue paci in his mouth.

Baby Girl came home from the hospital in this.

Little Man's adorable john john's, which The Husband wouldn't let me put on him after he turned two.

First Christmas pictures in these outfits.

First snow in this jacket, with cute little mittens and hat.

Little Man's hospital blanket- I lost it on that one.

A t-shirt of Little Man's that read, "I didn't do it." That was my father-in-law's favorite shirt, he loved it and we would put it on Little Man when we would go visit the in-laws. Pocker's favorite t-shirt. I really lost it on that one. Packer would just love Little Man and Baby Girl if he could see them now.

Whew....sorting done. I'm now able to put a lid on the bins and store them in the attic. I have a nice pile to go to Goodwill, and a decent pile to take to the consignment store. I've had my (second) good cry for the day, and it's only one o'clock. I think I'm going to chunk being productive and go have fun with my babies for the rest of the day.

Outside!!

We finally got to play outside today!!

We have had the coldest, wettest, snowiest winter I can ever remember, so it's been a LONG time since we've ventured outside for more than a minute.

This really was Baby Girl's first time to play outdoors, since she's been walking.

We played with bubbles and sidewalk chalk.

Today I loved my front yard with it's western exposure. Thank you sun!

Here is Baby Girl in her bunny hat.



...and Baby Girl with the sidewalk chalk.


It's a happy Friday!

Artsy..

I just liked the view...the way the toys fell into place. I thought it was pretty and wanted to capture it. My living room with a three and a one-year-old.

Mischievous Imp

My Baby Girl is mischievous, as mischievous as they come. And I love it. She is just what I thought having a daughter would be, only better.

I remember the day I found out I was having a daughter. My neighbor is an ultrasound tech, and that day she called from work and said if I wanted to come to the office she could squeeze me in. So I packed up Little Man and away we went. The Husband didn't even know, and I was hoping to surprise him with the news.

I remember it was June 17th. I was only 17 weeks pregnant, and not even really showing, so I wasn't even sure we would be able to tell the gender. But wrong I was, it was a girl, and my neighbor was 99% positive that she was right. She said it was safe to go out and by pink!

Let me tell you, at hearing those words, "It's a girl!" I turned into a ball of jello. I was terrified.

"A girl? What do I do with a girl?" I thought. "I know about boys, but a girl?" I thought of certain little girls I knew, of the sassiness, the smart mouths. I thought of teenage girls I knew, and how their parents were having a hard time with them. "O my gosh," I thought, "what am I in for?"

It took a few days, but slowly I came around. I was excited! I was having a baby girl! Little Man would have a baby sister, which is what we immediately started calling her, a name that to this day has stuck. ( I had a great aunt whom everyone called Sister, and now I know how how that name came to be!)

As my pregnancy progressed, I imagined what my baby would be like. Sweet for sure. A bit sassy. A bit bossy. Sure of herself. Cute as can be. Able to handle herself, her brother would teach her that. Impish, mischievous, fun-loving.

All these things have come true. She is just like I imagined, eerily so. The other day she wanted to play with one of Little Man's toys. He didn't want her to have it, so he stepped in front of her and yelled "NO!" So Baby Girl got mad, ran up to him and hit him on the arm! Then she backed down, stuck out her bottom lip, and cried. It was the cutest thing I have ever seen! Even though I don't want to encourage my children to hit, I thought to myself, "Way to go, Baby Girl!" Your brother shouldn't have yelled at you, but you stood up for yourself." I don't really think we'll have to worry about Baby Girl being pushed around by her peers. ;)

I think sometimes she even surprises herself. This morning she was nursing (she still nurses when she wakes up and again just before bed), and the side she was nursing on was, well... empty. So I pulled my shirt back down and was getting the other side ready. Well, she became mad that I put her "lovey" away, so she grabbed her paci and threw it across the room! Then, when she realized what she had done, she rounded her lips, and said a breathless, "Ooohh." It was just precious, The Husband and I couldn't help but laugh.

Sweet lovable, precious, mischievous, Baby Girl, we love you so!

On Toes...

I found a new blog that I really enjoy, I just love this mom's writing style, it's beautiful. I'm completely stealing this, but hopefully that's ok, because I'm giving credit! This is from one of her posts, and it mirrors what I've thought a million times, even though I'm not sure I could ever put it so beautifully. It's about how your babies completely steal your heart, and how, although you will love them for a lifetime, you love, love, love them when they're babies. Here it is:



"There will come a day when the grasp of your tiny fingers around mine won't take my breath away; when I won't stare at your pouty lips while you sleep. There will come a day when the way your toes curl when I tickle them won't send me into a fit of laughter or when the way you look at me won't make me cry. That day is not today, my Love."



So sweet. It brought me back to a night when Little Man was almost a year and a half, which is about how old Baby Girl is now. That night, I went to go check on him *one more time* before I went to bed, and when I did I noticed that his little toes were sticking out from between the crib slats. Sweet, little kissable toes. At that moment, I just had to bend down, grasp his chubby little feet, and kiss those toes. Each and every one of them. It was a sweet moment, but even as I looked down at my precious growing boy I felt a pang in my heart. I know I teared up a bit. He wasn't going to be a baby for much longer, and although I would always love his toes, I knew the days of kissing them were soon coming to an end. So I kissed his toes, and savored the moment.



Nowadays Little Man's toes aren't that kissable. They're big boy, preschooler toes, with toughened skin and dirty nails from a hard day of play. Even so, when I look at them I often remember that tender moment. And I do still love his toes, but I was right, we're past the days of kissing them, and on to new adventures.

Heavensent

Last night Baby Girl was doing what she does best, cleaning, organizing, and putting things away.

Well, in truth, she was stealing baby wipes and wiping down the nearest surface, pulling all her mama's things out of drawers and cabinets and putting them all back in one big baby mess, and dropping toys and random items into very random places where they may not be seen again for years to come.

It's so cute watching her "work."

What are you thinking, Baby Dear? Are you trying to be like Mama, cleaning and tidying up?

So last night she pulled all her neatly folded blankets out of her drawer and put them all in her pack-n-play, which is in our room. Before she was done there were at least six or seven blankets all piled in a heap.

She was so pleased with herself for doing it.

The Husband and I just sat there and watched her, she gave us a big smile every time a blanket dropped into it's intended spot.

The Husband ever so sweetly said to his baby girl, "Well, you're just a little slice of Heaven."

Yes, my dear, sweet, baby girl, you are a slice of Heaven, and I love you so much.

Inspiration

I am a birth junkie. I love birth stories, good ones, bad ones, natural ones, begging- for- an- epidural ones.

Yesterday I read the saddest, happiest, most gut-wrenching, inspiring, and beautiful birth story ever.

I feel love for this baby that I've never even met, and never will.

I want to hug her and squeeze her and cover her with kisses.

Better get a whole box of Kleenex before you click on the link, but don't you dare miss out on this one.

It will change your heart for the better.

Nella Cordelia: A Birth Story

More Little Manisms

Little Man is three and a half, and still saying and doing the cutest things. Here are a few...


"Parp tart" - for Pop Tart


"Yes I mam." - for Yes, I am.


Little Man was talking to one of our dogs, Miller, and this is just part of the conversation: "and all the cars...a car might get over you and you would be flat as a pancake."


"Nuffin" - for nothing


"Someping" - something


Right now Little Man has a sinus infection, and of course the stuffy nose that goes along with it. One night he looks up at The Husband and says, "Daddy, my nose just doesn't wanna breathe."

The Husband

Husbands are funny.

Funny as in haha, and funny as in, well, funny.

A few things from The Husband lately:

Last week The Husband mentioned that he scheduled a client meeting at our house.

What?!?!

He then reminded me that it is one of his long-time clients, one that is also like a friend. He also reminded me that she had been to our house before, something that I had forgotten.

Her appointment is for Monday (today) at 4:00.

Sunday morning, early, I'm cleaning up the kitchen. I made a big dinner on Saturday, and we took it easy Saturday night, so the kitchen was still a mess. I'm wiping up the counters when The Husband walks in and says, "You're not cleaning up for my client, are you, you know you don't have to do that."

I just stopped right in my tracks. "Cleaning up for your client," I thought. "Do you think wiping the kitchen counters off, from last night's dinner no less, is "company cleaning"?"

Hehe, I couldn't help but laugh inside. I forget that there are two standards of clean in our house, my standard, and The Husband's standard.

I know I'm not alone here.

Also:

Today is The Husband's birthday. Happy birthday, Husband!

Anyway, The Husband is notoriously hard to buy for (aren't most guys?). He's one of those people who, if he wants something, he'll go out and buy it - within reason, of course. Well, he only asked for one thing for his birthday this year, white dress shirts.

(Come on Husband, live a little!)

So the only person who asked me for ideas for The Husband this year was my stepmom, so I told her about the dress shirts. She and my dad had planned a birthday dinner for him on Sunday at 5:00. So about 2:30 on a lazy Sunday afternoon, The Husband abruptly gets up and asks, "You don't mind if I go out and buy some dress shirts, do you? I'll be back in time for dinner."

"Yes, Husband, I do mind," I said. He looked at me a bit funny, but then figured it out. Only 2 1/2 hours to go before his birthday dinner and he's trying to buy the one thing he asked for.

I know I'm not alone here, either.

Here's to husbands, for keeping us on our toes and giving us a good laugh!

Disappointment

The trip has been cancelled.

Thank you, Mother Nature, for making it impossible to surprise V. with a visit.

The very roads we were to drive upon have a 1/2" of ice on them, covered by varying amounts of snow.

We could probably make it, most of the drive is interstate, but who wants to turn a 4 hour trip into a 10 hour trip. Much less take the chance of wrecking the car.

I'm so disappointed. Not only that I can't go visit V., but that I can't even commiserate with her, she didn't know we were coming! We didn't want to tell her that the trip was cancelled because we're hoping to try the surprise again in a few weeks. We don't want to give her the heads up, you see.

We are now working with her husband to try to schedule another visit, it's going to be at least three weeks. :(

This is so petty, but it's KILLING me to see comments on V.'s facebook page that say something like this, "It was so good to see you and meet the baby....blah, blah, blah."

These are from people she's admitted she doesn't even know very well, as they've only been in their current city for a year.

I'm not even going to write down the childish, immature thoughts I'm having right now.

Sigh.

Ok, I'm good, really I am, just needing to get a bit of frustration out.

Surprise!

Planning a surprise trip to go see one of my best friends and her new baby! I'm so, so, so very excited!!!

Another friend and I were going to drive up early in the morning, visit, and then drive home, but The Husband, who is being so sweet, said we should reserve a hotel room. And if that's not good enough, he said to forget finding a cheap hotel and go find a fun place to stay! Whoo hoo! We found one with a snazzy lobby bar and, even more importantly, a Starbucks!


I can't wait to see my friend!


This will be my first overnight trip without my kids - EVER!


It's been a long time coming, on both accounts!

Do you have a card?

I haven't written about it lately, but I'm still making/decorating cakes! Admittedly, I did take a bit of a break, but am now back in full swing. The last cake I made was a Tiramisu layer cake. And it was delicious! It was for my family's annual Christmas Eve party, and it was so crazy trying to get everything ready for Christmas that I forgot to take a picture. :( Since Christmas, though, I've had inquiries for two orders! I ended up not getting the first order, which is fine, but the second order has already been placed. Forty-eight mini cupcakes in chocolate, strawberry, and caramel, with poured fondant icing and fondant rose decoration. I practiced making them today, since I've never made mini cupcakes before. Some turned out well, some didn't. Oh well, that's why they were practice cakes!

On another note, I was at a birthday party yesterday for one of Little Man's Kindermusik friends, and the Kindermusik moms all know that I'm learning to decorate cakes. In fact that's where my cupcake order came from. Anyway, one of the moms and I were talking about it, and another lady overheard us. So she looked at me and asked, "Do you have a business card, I might call you?"

Hehe.

I just was asked if I had a business card. For my cake business.

I had to tell her "no," that I was just learning and that it was only a hobby at this point.

She looked a little disappointed, which made me feel a bit good inside.

Which brings me to another point.

I'm ready to take a baking/decorating class. I've had so many friends tell me that when so-and- so's birthday rolls around, they want me to make a cake for it. So far I've only charged for two cakes, and I only asked for what it cost me in supplies. However, while fun, it is also a huge pain in the rear to make one of these super decorated cakes, and I'm ready to start being compensated for the time and effort. The thing is, though, is that I'm not a professional, and sometimes my cakes come out well and sometimes they don't,and I feel uncomfortable charging unless it is something I know I can do. Another reason I'd like to take a class is that I've hit a ceiling with what I'm able to do, and I would love to try some of the more intricate cakes. Mmm, tiered cakes, royal icing, figurines...

Waistline, beware, I see more cakes in your future!