Ah, kids...

Yesterday morning was one of those mornings I would like to forget. Or not, it did have some comedic value after all.

It was sort of a prickly day. If you couldn't tell, life has been sort of prickly lately. We've been working hard to make lemons out of lemonade, and I think we've done a fair job. Could be better, could be worse, but we're trying and that's what counts.

Well, we woke up yesterday with a Little Man in our bed. He had a high fever the night before, and a cough, and he wanted to snuggle with mom and dad. I love snuggling with him as much as he loves snuggling with me, and I especially love to snuggle when he needs me, so how could I refuse? The point being is that having a feverish, coughing pre-schooler in one's bed kind of interferes with getting a good night's sleep. Whatever, we got up, made coffee, breakfast, got going a little bit, when Little Man tells me that he's pooped in his pants. Uh-oh, I think. Then I remembered that he woke up in a dry pull-up, and I hadn't changed him yet. Oh thank goodness! I go to check on him, and my thankfulness lasts for only about a minute, for when I went to change him, I saw that he had poop running down one of his legs. Gross.

Did I mention that he happened to be standing on a pile of toys at the time?

Why, Little Man, why?

You rarely if ever just stand on a pile of toys, yet you do so when you have poop running down your leg??!!

I took a deeeeppp breath.

So, I got on to cleaning him up, and trust me, it was a big job. Anyway, I guess I wasn't quite all the way awake, because I didn't realize that there was a mess on the toys, and on the floor. Now the rest of the story reminds me of a sitcom. While I was changing Little Man, Baby Girl stole his breakfast, a granola bar, something she covets yet rarely gets to eat. It was a chocolate chip granola bar. Whenever she sneaks one of these she makes a huge mess of the chocolate. So when I saw that she was covered in "chocolate" I didn't think too much about it. (It was early, obviously I needed my coffee, I was a little slow that morning.) I continue to clean Little Man, which takes a while. In the meantime, Baby Girl is walking around, getting on the couch, playing with different toys. After several minutes, I go to wash the "chocolate" off of her. Now maybe by now you've realized that it wasn't actually chocolate on Baby Girl. I don't really have to write what it was, do I? Let me just say, it was a mess. Two children ended up taking a bath at 8 in the morning, toys and sofas got wiped down and sanitized with Lysol, and Mama wanted a glass of wine in the worst way. I hope it's not bad that I wanted a glass of wine at only 8 am!

Don't worry, I was good, I waited until 8 pm for that wine.

There's more, but it's not as funny. It has to do with a sippy cup that became wedged in between Little Man's mattress and his bed frame. The sippy cup was full of milk. Was. The several day-old milk seeped into the side of his mattress. Still working on getting that one out. Wish me luck, man alive...


This last one is really funny. After the whole leaky poopy thing I was really trying to watch what Little Man ate. Well, we had just bought strawberries at the store the day before. Expensive, organic strawberries. After shopping, as I was loading up the car with our groceries, with Baby Girl in the front of the shopping cart and Little Man in the back, what did Baby Girl do but to reach in one of the grocery bags, pull out the expensive organic strawberries, open the container, and spill most of them out into the cart and pavement. Oh it hurt, hurt. An aside: I don't like to spend money on food. I'm still getting used to this whole new lifestyle of buying healthy, high quality food instead of whatever's on sale. Anyway, I saved most of the strawberries, but they had been in the yucky cart. I decided a good washing would be enough...cough, ahem, maybe. I wasn't about to throw away $5 strawberries, maybe I have flawed thinking here, but it is what it is. Well, as of yesterday morning I hadn't washed them yet, and Little Man wanted strawberries. I told him he couldn't have any because they could make him go potty, and goodness knows we didn't need anymore pottying around here. (I didn't know if his diarrhea was a fluke or an actual bug - thankfully it was a fluke.) So, after the kids had a bath, I went upstairs to put Baby Girl down for a nap while Little Man watched cartoons downstairs. While I'm upstairs, and out of sight, Little Man gets an idea. He thinks he should eat some strawberries, so he does. He sneaks six of them. (Oh, it just makes me want to throw up, why didn't I wash them immediately!?) Here's the funny part. The only reason I found out about the one-man strawberry party is that I found the stems. He had hidden three in the fridge. I found those immediately. Later on that night I found three more, in the freezer. By the time I had found them, Little Man had already gone to bed, and I couldn't help but laugh out loud. It was creative, all right. Gonna have to watch that one, and well, the other one, too. ;)