Unsettling

Well, mom called. Her scan was not exactly normal. She is going in for a second test today.

This is scary. Honestly, I'm in shut-down mode. It's either that or full freak-out mode, which would not be helpful to anyone.

Wishing this weren't happening. I'm having to remind myself to trust in God. He will pull us through, whether this turns out to be just a scare or a full-fledged family situation.

Agenda for the day:

Trust.

Have Faith.

Pray.

Listen.

Take a deep breath.

Love on my babies.

A few hours later -

Ok, so to be honest I'm not in shut-down mode. I know this because I feel like I'm barely keeping a panic attack at bay. Heart racing, feels like my blood pressure is through the roof, having a hard time getting a deep breath, just want to sit on the couch or lie in my cozy bed and forget the world exists. Not going to happen, I have two little monkeys who are bored and letting me know it. Still waiting to hear back from mom. Seconds are trickling by like hours and hours have been stretched out like days. This is the longest day ever.