So... it's been a good three months since I've posted. A lot has happened, and there are literally a hundred sweet things I wish I could have captured to forever remember. What can I say, life happens.
We just had Thanksgiving, it was wonderful. Quiet, only one meal for us to eat (as opposed to the sometimes three we have to attend in one day), and lots of fun, quality family time. It's supposed to start snowing in a few hours, and into the night. With a five and a three-year-old, it's magical.
We put the Christmas tree up this afternoon. Full on decorating will have to wait until the Hubs gets home, but the kids and I had fun putting it up while listening to Christmas music. Baby girl found two big stockings, a hat, and a door decoration, put them all on (door decoration used as a purse), and stated, "Look, I'm all covered with Christmas!"
JP helped me assemble the tree and make sure it was "sturdy," one of his favorite words, and was so proud that he got to stand on the stairs and put on the star. Just as he did, L. spontaneously sang, "God is Jesus, God is Jesus, thank you for our Christmas tree, thank you for our Christmas tree, Amen, Amen."
I know I keep using this work, but again, magical.
Life is good, God is good!
Showing posts with label Life in General. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life in General. Show all posts
Monday, November 28, 2011
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
We are a bunch of heathens...
My four-year-old son said "Motha Focker" today (we spent the weekend at the lake with a whole host of characters) and my sweet and brilliant husband left a little love mark in a very noticeable location.
Like the title of the post says...
Like the title of the post says...
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Fear
I always feel a tightness in my chest and just a twinge of fear whenever my three most loved people in the world climb into a car together and drive off. Even if it is only for a quick trip to The Home Depot, as it is tonight. I pray that God keeps them safe and protected while they are away. Sometimes I wonder if that fear that I have makes me strange in any way, but somehow I don't think it does.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Overachiever
Mama is tired.
Today I made three quarts of homemade chicken broth, a quart of homemade yogurt, from scratch waffles - I froze enough for about three week's worth of breakfasts - and dinner. Baby Girl was with me all day and I did several loads of laundry, made snacks for two school parties, had an impronptu play date with the neighbors, and did some cleaning. It's 7:29 as I write this and The Husband is still at work. I am sooo not complaining, I am just plain worn out. I'm sitting on the back patio and letting the kids play outside while I type this. They're digging in the dirt, which of course means they'll have to have a bath before bed.
Better get going. :)
Today I made three quarts of homemade chicken broth, a quart of homemade yogurt, from scratch waffles - I froze enough for about three week's worth of breakfasts - and dinner. Baby Girl was with me all day and I did several loads of laundry, made snacks for two school parties, had an impronptu play date with the neighbors, and did some cleaning. It's 7:29 as I write this and The Husband is still at work. I am sooo not complaining, I am just plain worn out. I'm sitting on the back patio and letting the kids play outside while I type this. They're digging in the dirt, which of course means they'll have to have a bath before bed.
Better get going. :)
Thursday, May 12, 2011
An Update in Pictures
I went on a girls' trip last week, the first time I've gone away from my kids for more than 24 hours in 4 1/2 years. It was looong overdue, and it was fabulous. Two friends, including "Cuz," and I took a road trip to New Orleans, I hadn't been in at least 10 years and I had missed it so. We skipped the college-ish drinking scenes and did some more grown-up stuff. Not to say that we didn't have a few cocktails or anything, we did, but thankfully we all agreed that downing hand grenades on Bourbon was a pastime best put behind us. :) We left on a Thursday morning and came back early Sunday afternoon, it was the perfect length away. It was enough time to relax and really start to miss my family and then it was time to come home. I took this picture when I arrived back home on Mother's Day, because I had just said in the car, "Maybe The Husband will have cleaned the house for me for mother's day."
Welcome home and Happy Mother's Day, lol!
Welcome home and Happy Mother's Day, lol!The next picture can go under the heading of Why I'm Always Cleaning and Yet My House is a Mess. Meet "The Box." This box full of The Husband's winter clothes went into our storage room when we moved into our house 7 years ago. There it stayed for about 4 years, until one day we cleaned out the storage room and the box ended up being shuffled into the attic to be sorted through on a later date. Again, there it stayed for about 2 years until we cleaned out the attic and The Husband brought it downstairs to our bedroom, oh in November, he was going to go through it since it was full of winter clothes. Well, this box stayed by the wall of our bedroom until two weeks ago (end of April), when I finally had enough and The Husband moved it next to the stairs. Still full of winter clothes, and with a few newly bagged items on top. I am really chuckling as I write this, I'm not being snarky at all, but this picture truly says a thousand words.
Another addition to Why I'm Always Cleaning and Yet the House is Always a Mess.
The Pantry. I organize this pantry a little bit every day, and it gets a huge overhaul at least once a month, but this is what it looked like when I came back from my trip. Ignore all the junk food in there, I had been gone for a few days, remember? I see this and can only think that it's nice to know that my family needs me. :)
This next one I took after I made the bed for the third time that day. As you can see, making the bed around here is a HUGE waste of time. :)
I made yogurt! And it was easy, and it tasted good!! Baby Girl is eating us out of house and home with her yogurt consumption. Even when I buy the big tubs we are spending quite a bit of money on yogurt. So....I thought I would give making it myself a try. It worked, who knew you could make your own yogurt?!
Poor Little Man, his momma loves classic children's clothing, and classic children's shoes. So last year when he started asking for light-up tennis shoes, I balked - and said "No." Well, after nearly two years of asking, and when after completely growing out of the line of nice shoes I like to buy, I caved. He now owns light-up tennis shoes. He couldn't be happier with them, and that makes me love them, too.
I made yogurt! And it was easy, and it tasted good!! Baby Girl is eating us out of house and home with her yogurt consumption. Even when I buy the big tubs we are spending quite a bit of money on yogurt. So....I thought I would give making it myself a try. It worked, who knew you could make your own yogurt?!
Poor Little Man, his momma loves classic children's clothing, and classic children's shoes. So last year when he started asking for light-up tennis shoes, I balked - and said "No." Well, after nearly two years of asking, and when after completely growing out of the line of nice shoes I like to buy, I caved. He now owns light-up tennis shoes. He couldn't be happier with them, and that makes me love them, too.
Monday, May 2, 2011
MLK Says is So Well
Last night we heard the news that Osama bin Laden had been killed by U.S. forces. I personally am glad that this man can no longer spread evil and misery into the world, but I am also deeply upset by the public celebrations over the killing of another. I understand that we all have a sense of relief and even a sense of closure, but feeling overjoyed just seems crude. I feel like we have lost a bit of ourselves by our reaction to the news. It just seems wrong to party and cheer. I know, I know, he was a horrible man, and if anyone deserved death than it is he. But is it up to us to decide such things? And will this really solve anything? Aren't there others literally lined up to take his place? I am conflicted. My friend K.A. posted this on facebook, and I think it is a perfect response to the events of yesterday and last night -
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction...The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. : - MLK, Jr.
"Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that. Hate multiplies hate, violence multiplies violence, and toughness multiplies toughness in a descending spiral of destruction...The chain reaction of evil - hate begetting hate, wars producing more wars - must be broken, or we shall be plunged into the dark abyss of annihilation. : - MLK, Jr.
Monday, April 4, 2011
24 Hours of Insanity
Wow, the past 24 hours have been intense. Mama could seriously use a Xanax. Seriously. Here's why - Last night Baby Girl went to the ER in an ambulance (a separate post to follow), and after we got home we had about three hours sleep, courtesy of several breathing treatments. I'm not knocking them, they probably saved Baby Girl's life, she was just a bundle of energy at midnight and beyond! We had a follow-up appointment with her regular pediatrician this morning, and on the way there she started wheezing again. It scared me to death, it sounded just like she did before her attack came full on last night. The receptionists and nurse rushed us back to the exam room and we saw a doctor about five minutes after we walked in the door. Her oxygen fluctuated between 92-97, which the doc thought was no big deal. I may be looking for a new pediatrician, I have loved him as a doctor so far, but his laid back attitude about Baby Girl's oxygen level didn't sit well with me. He reiterated what the ER docs said, only he said giving her a hit off the inhaler every 4-6 hours was unnecessary, and to only give it to her if the skin between her ribs started to pull in during inhalation. Again, I'm not doctor but I did grow up around asthma and that seems like that's waiting a little too long, especially for a two year old. I want to use the medicine to prevent her from getting to that point. Anyway, after the somewhat alarming doctor's appointment, we went home. .... and drove through the worst storm. It was no Hurricane Elvis, but it was very similar. Very scary to drive through, but by the time I realized we were in a bad storm we were just about five minutes from home. We got home and the sirens were going off, I couldn't tell that in the car because of the loud rain and marble-sized hailstones rapping on the roof, and the cable, internet, and phone were all out. I had no idea if the tornado warning was for my area of the county or not. Little Man was home with Grandma, he was terrified and still in his underwear. I do not handle bad storms and tornadoes well, I turn into a puddle of jello. However, I had to keep it together and be a responsible parent, so I scrambled for some clothes for Little Man while calling The Husband at work to see if I can get a weather report. I needed to know if I should empty out the tornado closet (no small task, it's our toy closet and packed solid), and thankfully, The Husband told us the storm had already gone through our part of town, although it still looked scary outside. We actually drove through the worst of it. Trees swaying, stop lights doing nearly 360s, looking out my car window reminded me of watching hurricane footage on the tv. We did have some minor damage, and I stress minor. A sizable limb fell on our fence and the side of the house, knocking loose a several boards and damaging two window screen frames. Could have been much worse. Little Man enjoyed the clean up with his daddy and our neighbor, Mr. Jimmy, who broke out the chain saw. Well, I say that's too much excitement for one day. Waaay too many adrenaline rushes for me to handle with grace. Now who has some xanax? (just kidding)
Sunday, April 3, 2011
Blessed
What a great morning! I'm having one of those wonderful moments of clarity, when I realize how incredibly blessed I am. I have a loving husband who is a good man. I have healthy, happy, loving, and fun and goofy children who make me smile every single day. I have a nice home. Forget that it's on the small side, and that it's nothing fancy. It's comfortable, pretty, it brings me joy (especially today because it's clean!!), and it provides shelter and a loving space for my family. We have our health. We have fun together, we all flew airplanes at the park yesterday, Little Man, The Husband, and I laughed so hard together! The Husband has a good job, which provides security for us, which lets us breath easy at night and enjoy the small things. And countless other things, like being able to have extras like going out to eat, taking the kids on a trip (the space museum and a train ride are in the works, I can't wait!), and signing Little Man up for a soccer league. I love my life, thank you , God for blessing me in so many ways.
Monday, March 14, 2011
This and That
It seems like we've been so busy lately. I'm not really sure what we've actually been actually doing, but it's taking up all our time! One thing I know that's a time eater is The Husband's work schedule. True, he is self-employed and gets to set his own schedule, but for someone like him that just means he works, and works, and works. Lately it's been 11-12 hour days, six days a week. It's been hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining, I'm so glad he has a great work ethic and is working so hard to provide for his family. That's not lip service, I really, really am grateful. His hard work allows me to stay home with the kids and do things like journal our lives via a blog, take the kids to Aardvark classes, and be a part of Little Man's school community. I am forever grateful that I get to do these things during this season of my life. Like I said, though, it's been hard. The kids have had dinner, bath, and stories by the time Daddy gets home, and by that time momma and daddy are exhausted. The good news, though, is that Hubs is working towards a goal! We are hoping to move this summer!! Whoo hoo! I can't tell you how excited that makes me. I love our little house, and our neighborhood, but it's time to move on. I'm ready. We had a realtor come look at the house last week and give us a list of things we need to do to prepare to list the house. After a week of thinking on it, the Hubs gave the green light to go ahead and proceed. The Hubs needs time to mull things over, lol! Anyway, hopefully by the end of the summer we will have sold our house, bought a house, and have a move under our belts!
On another note, here are a few cute things from Baby Girl -
She loves her Woody and Jesse dolls. She calls Woody, "Boody." Adorable. Yesterday we were riding in the car, and she was clutching "Boody" and Jesse to her chest, and said possessively, "These are MY kids!" Over and over she kept calling them, "my kids." So sweet. She's also in love with her toes. She talks about her toes all day long. Tippy toes, tippy toes. Only she doesn't say, "tippy toes." Use your imagination, but what she says sounds a little dirty, as "tippy" is a hard word for a two-year-old to say!
That's about all. Little Man's year of pre-k is almost over, I can't believe it! We are on spring break this week. The Hubs is planning on taking a day off (hallelujah!) and we might go camping overnight at a campsite that's only 30 min from home. I hope it works out, that would be so much fun!
On another note, here are a few cute things from Baby Girl -
She loves her Woody and Jesse dolls. She calls Woody, "Boody." Adorable. Yesterday we were riding in the car, and she was clutching "Boody" and Jesse to her chest, and said possessively, "These are MY kids!" Over and over she kept calling them, "my kids." So sweet. She's also in love with her toes. She talks about her toes all day long. Tippy toes, tippy toes. Only she doesn't say, "tippy toes." Use your imagination, but what she says sounds a little dirty, as "tippy" is a hard word for a two-year-old to say!
That's about all. Little Man's year of pre-k is almost over, I can't believe it! We are on spring break this week. The Hubs is planning on taking a day off (hallelujah!) and we might go camping overnight at a campsite that's only 30 min from home. I hope it works out, that would be so much fun!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Story of my life
Wednesday night I got a black eye, a BAD black eye, courtesy of Little Man's hard head. He was being goofy, I wasn't paying attention (didn't realize I needed to) and his head went - BAM!- into my face. Ouch. It rattled my teeth and I heard a "crack." I'm really not sure where that crack came from, unless he broke one of my facial bones, which is entirely possible, but who knows. Anyway, all is well, I'm a bit sore, I look like I've been in a fight, but in the end Little Man is okay and so am I.
So, less than 24 hours after the head banging incident we get a call from a friend of ours. A professional photographer friend. He hasn't taken pictures of us since The Husband and I were engaged, oh, about 7 years ago. Any-ole-how, he asked if he could do a family photo shoot... for a local magazine...ASAP.
I have an impossible to hide, swollen and red cheekbone and now deep purple (a color I didn't even know existed in nature) eye and I get asked to be a a photo shoot for a magazine. Huh. Go figure.
Story of my life. Can't help but laugh at it.
The good news is, I think our friend can wait a week. Surely the black eye and bruised cheek will have healed by then? I only hope I don't fall down on this ice and bust my lip before then. ;)
So, less than 24 hours after the head banging incident we get a call from a friend of ours. A professional photographer friend. He hasn't taken pictures of us since The Husband and I were engaged, oh, about 7 years ago. Any-ole-how, he asked if he could do a family photo shoot... for a local magazine...ASAP.
I have an impossible to hide, swollen and red cheekbone and now deep purple (a color I didn't even know existed in nature) eye and I get asked to be a a photo shoot for a magazine. Huh. Go figure.
Story of my life. Can't help but laugh at it.
The good news is, I think our friend can wait a week. Surely the black eye and bruised cheek will have healed by then? I only hope I don't fall down on this ice and bust my lip before then. ;)
Monday, January 17, 2011
Busy
It is 1:17 pm. So far today I have completed an intense, one-hour workout, thoroughly dusted the entire downstairs, finished the laundry, baked two loaves of from scratch bread (no bread maker here!), made homemade, from scratch soft pretzels for a healthy snack, cleaned the kitchen (no small task after all the baking), fed two kids lunch, put them in their beds for a nap, picked up so I can vacuum, soothed a sickly baby girl, and purchased a new dresser.
This mama is plum wore out!
This mama is plum wore out!
Sunday, January 9, 2011
The OCD Wagon
This self-professed OCD clean/neat freak has fallen off the wagon.
My house is a disaster. All the time.
Why clean when the little munchkins destroy it faster than I can work?
Seriously, I take time to clean the kitchen, and in the meantime they've pulled every toy out of the toy closet. So I put the toy closet back together and they've gone upstairs and dumped all the cars, dinosaurs, etc. out onto the floor. I can have them help me clean up, and I do, but that takes
f o r e v e r .
I'll go on and say that it's not lack of time that keeps me from cleaning, it totally isn't. If I stayed off facebook, and stopped reading blogs, and turned off the tv I could get a lot done. Maybe. Some days I DO turn off the computer and tv and still not much gets done.
Thankfully The Husband doesn't mind, or really notice, for that matter. He could live in a hovel, and as long as he had ramen noodles in the pantry and clean boxers he could go on unaffected.
I've just lost my motivation. Really. Why bust my behind when by bedtime it's a disaster all over again. Toys everywhere, yogurt/applesauce/take your pick smeared all over the kitchen counters/chairs/floor/cabinets/table/take your pick.
We've discussed hiring some help, but that seems silly. I am a stay-at-home-mom, after all. Plus it's not that the house is impossible to clean, it just doesn't stay clean. It literally makes me think, "Ahh, bleecch," when it's time to clean.
Well, Little Man starts going to school five days a week next year (sob!!), maybe my house will be clean then.
Or not.
My house is a disaster. All the time.
Why clean when the little munchkins destroy it faster than I can work?
Seriously, I take time to clean the kitchen, and in the meantime they've pulled every toy out of the toy closet. So I put the toy closet back together and they've gone upstairs and dumped all the cars, dinosaurs, etc. out onto the floor. I can have them help me clean up, and I do, but that takes
f o r e v e r .
I'll go on and say that it's not lack of time that keeps me from cleaning, it totally isn't. If I stayed off facebook, and stopped reading blogs, and turned off the tv I could get a lot done. Maybe. Some days I DO turn off the computer and tv and still not much gets done.
Thankfully The Husband doesn't mind, or really notice, for that matter. He could live in a hovel, and as long as he had ramen noodles in the pantry and clean boxers he could go on unaffected.
I've just lost my motivation. Really. Why bust my behind when by bedtime it's a disaster all over again. Toys everywhere, yogurt/applesauce/take your pick smeared all over the kitchen counters/chairs/floor/cabinets/table/take your pick.
We've discussed hiring some help, but that seems silly. I am a stay-at-home-mom, after all. Plus it's not that the house is impossible to clean, it just doesn't stay clean. It literally makes me think, "Ahh, bleecch," when it's time to clean.
Well, Little Man starts going to school five days a week next year (sob!!), maybe my house will be clean then.
Or not.
Friday, December 31, 2010
To 2010
2010, you were good to us in so many ways. Time together as a family, Little Man officially starting school, Baby Girl turning into a rambunctious toddler, vacation, The Husband and I growing together as a couple.
However, I probably won't remember you for those things, nice as they are. I think I will always remember you for all the health issues, among other things.
And DRAMA. Not people created drama, but the kind of drama that life hands you on a platter and says - "DEAL."
Just to recap: my brother-in-law was in Port-au-Prince during the Haiti earthquake. He was supposed to be staying at the Hotel Montana , but at the last minute was diverted to another hotel which didn't sustain much damage. He lost two coworkers who did stay at the Hotel Montana. It about gave all of us over here heart attacks. Seriously. However, he ended up making it home within a week, and without a scratch on his body. With all of his luggage, to boot. Which seems to be the theme of this year, near tragedy.
After the earthquake, The Husband flew to Miami to wait for his brother to make it to the States. While he was gone, my step mom, who has been my step mom since I was a preschooler, went into the ER. Turns out she had a stroke. She's in her 50s. She spent a few days in the hospital and recovered about 99%, which is terrific. It was just scary, and kind of still is.
A day or two from the time my step mom was released from the hospital, my grandmother, who lives three hours away, was taken to the ER and then placed in intensive care. She remained in the hospital for over a month. We were told on two occasions that she wouldn't make it, and on one occasion we were told to hurry and drive up there as fast as we could if we wanted a chance to say goodbye. Terrible. My mom and I drove the three hours to see her every weekend, and I went alone a few times during the week. This was the reason for my first night away from Baby Girl. I slept in a hospital chair one night. There were trips afterward to help clean grandmom's house and stock her freezer with food. She's doing so much better now, she's still on dialysis, but is hanging in there. Again, and near tragedy.
Then about the time my grandmother was back at home, we found out that my mom had cancer. I wrote about it here. The uncertainty, the surgery, the LONG recovery. She had her six month scan a few weeks ago, everything looks good. She'll have regular scans for the rest of her life, but that's ok. Yet again, a very stressful event with the potential to become a tragedy, but it didn't. I know personally it gave me a few gray hairs.
We had a few months of quiet, during which The Husband's family cam to visit, and we all went to the beach together for vacation. It was a good time, a fun time.
Right after our beach vacation, I realized that I wasn't feeling so well. I was nauseous all the time and severely bloated. After a few weeks of this I went to the doctor and found out that my gallbladder wasn't working and it would have to come out. Not only that, but due to the radioactive nature of one of the diagnostic tests, the anaesthesia from surgery, and then having to take pain meds, I would have to stop nursing Baby Girl. That was a tragedy in and of itself. The surgery went well, the recovery was not fun, but thankfully I'm feeling much better.
Two days after my surgery The Husband had to take Little Man to an ENT appointment, and it turned out that he needed his tonsils out. So...we scheduled another surgery. I still wasn't fully recovered from mine when we were back in the same surgery center. Little Man's surgery went well, and he's sleeping so much better now. His whole mood and behavior have improved, evidently he was very sleep deprived from his enlarged tonsils.
Now my 89 year-old grandfather is in the hospital with pneumonia. They are expecting him to recover, but it's still hard on him. I hope he makes it home soon. Baby Girl has been sick with a cold (which has pretty much been her constant state since I quit nursing, go breast milk!) and she gave it to me (also pretty much consistent with the past few months), so I haven't been able to see him this week.
I don't write this as a "poor me" post, or to lament all that we've been through. When I think about it all together or see it in writing, it truly astonishes me that we've experienced all this in one year. Earthquake, mother having a stroke, grandmother nearly dying, mother with cancer and surgery, surgery for me, surgery for Little Man...it's a lot. We're still grateful, we're still happy, we're taking a big sigh of relief to put this year behind us! Really, we pulled through adversity and we're better than ever. We learned what is and what isn't important. We've grown closer and stronger. Growth may be painful but it sometimes is necessary.
So a year of, thankfully, near tragedies for us. I am well aware that it could have been a whole lot worse. Had any one of these incidences taken a different turn and 2010 would have been a very different year indeed. I am so very thankful that they didn't, and thankful for the good times we had. I'm hoping that 2011 is calmer, quieter, and HEALTHIER!!
However, I probably won't remember you for those things, nice as they are. I think I will always remember you for all the health issues, among other things.
And DRAMA. Not people created drama, but the kind of drama that life hands you on a platter and says - "DEAL."
Just to recap: my brother-in-law was in Port-au-Prince during the Haiti earthquake. He was supposed to be staying at the Hotel Montana , but at the last minute was diverted to another hotel which didn't sustain much damage. He lost two coworkers who did stay at the Hotel Montana. It about gave all of us over here heart attacks. Seriously. However, he ended up making it home within a week, and without a scratch on his body. With all of his luggage, to boot. Which seems to be the theme of this year, near tragedy.
After the earthquake, The Husband flew to Miami to wait for his brother to make it to the States. While he was gone, my step mom, who has been my step mom since I was a preschooler, went into the ER. Turns out she had a stroke. She's in her 50s. She spent a few days in the hospital and recovered about 99%, which is terrific. It was just scary, and kind of still is.
A day or two from the time my step mom was released from the hospital, my grandmother, who lives three hours away, was taken to the ER and then placed in intensive care. She remained in the hospital for over a month. We were told on two occasions that she wouldn't make it, and on one occasion we were told to hurry and drive up there as fast as we could if we wanted a chance to say goodbye. Terrible. My mom and I drove the three hours to see her every weekend, and I went alone a few times during the week. This was the reason for my first night away from Baby Girl. I slept in a hospital chair one night. There were trips afterward to help clean grandmom's house and stock her freezer with food. She's doing so much better now, she's still on dialysis, but is hanging in there. Again, and near tragedy.
Then about the time my grandmother was back at home, we found out that my mom had cancer. I wrote about it here. The uncertainty, the surgery, the LONG recovery. She had her six month scan a few weeks ago, everything looks good. She'll have regular scans for the rest of her life, but that's ok. Yet again, a very stressful event with the potential to become a tragedy, but it didn't. I know personally it gave me a few gray hairs.
We had a few months of quiet, during which The Husband's family cam to visit, and we all went to the beach together for vacation. It was a good time, a fun time.
Right after our beach vacation, I realized that I wasn't feeling so well. I was nauseous all the time and severely bloated. After a few weeks of this I went to the doctor and found out that my gallbladder wasn't working and it would have to come out. Not only that, but due to the radioactive nature of one of the diagnostic tests, the anaesthesia from surgery, and then having to take pain meds, I would have to stop nursing Baby Girl. That was a tragedy in and of itself. The surgery went well, the recovery was not fun, but thankfully I'm feeling much better.
Two days after my surgery The Husband had to take Little Man to an ENT appointment, and it turned out that he needed his tonsils out. So...we scheduled another surgery. I still wasn't fully recovered from mine when we were back in the same surgery center. Little Man's surgery went well, and he's sleeping so much better now. His whole mood and behavior have improved, evidently he was very sleep deprived from his enlarged tonsils.
Now my 89 year-old grandfather is in the hospital with pneumonia. They are expecting him to recover, but it's still hard on him. I hope he makes it home soon. Baby Girl has been sick with a cold (which has pretty much been her constant state since I quit nursing, go breast milk!) and she gave it to me (also pretty much consistent with the past few months), so I haven't been able to see him this week.
I don't write this as a "poor me" post, or to lament all that we've been through. When I think about it all together or see it in writing, it truly astonishes me that we've experienced all this in one year. Earthquake, mother having a stroke, grandmother nearly dying, mother with cancer and surgery, surgery for me, surgery for Little Man...it's a lot. We're still grateful, we're still happy, we're taking a big sigh of relief to put this year behind us! Really, we pulled through adversity and we're better than ever. We learned what is and what isn't important. We've grown closer and stronger. Growth may be painful but it sometimes is necessary.
So a year of, thankfully, near tragedies for us. I am well aware that it could have been a whole lot worse. Had any one of these incidences taken a different turn and 2010 would have been a very different year indeed. I am so very thankful that they didn't, and thankful for the good times we had. I'm hoping that 2011 is calmer, quieter, and HEALTHIER!!
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Magic and breathing easier
It's December 28th and I just put away the Christmas tree and most of the decorations. I'm not usually so eager to have Christmas put back in the attic, but that tree was taking up precious storage space for toys. While I'm somewhat sad to see it gone, I can actually physically breathe easier now that we have a lot less visual clutter.
Ahh...
I did leave a few things up - the construction paper garland the kids and I made, the half-eaten gingerbread house, a couple of smelly good Christmas candles, and a few twinkly lights. We'll let the kids enjoy the Christmas magic a few days longer.
And on another note, Christmas magic...It's amazing how the littlest things are magical to the kids. Even after weeks of having them around, the twinkly lights and garland bring a big excited smile to the kids' faces. They keep begging to eat the gingerbread house, and I let them pick pieces off throughout the day. It doesn't taste good at all, but Little Man and Baby Girl haven't seemed to notice. Snow globes, I don't even know what to say about those! Grandma Monger gave each of the kids their very own snow globe last year, and this year as well. She wants to start a collection for them. The little ones go crazy for it. Shaking them up, watching the snow fall, listening to the tinkling music. Thank you, Monger.
And yet on another note, Monger left yesterday to spend a few weeks in Spain with the other branch of the family. Can I say that I'm a little jealous? She'll spend several days in Spain, then they're all off to the Canary Islands for a week-long vacation, then it's a few days more in Spain before coming home. Yes, I'm just a little jealous. Not only of the adventure, but of getting to see the family. I would love so much to be able to see my husband's side of the family more than once a year, and for my kids to grow up with cousins as best friends. Maybe one day....I'm not sure what we're going to do for this long without Monger. Little Man sincerely thinks she's going to be gone for two days, not two weeks. He's already asking if he can go over to her house to spend the night, and I'm looking at two weeks without help during the week. It can be done, I know, but Monger helps us out so much! Again, thank you, Monger. It's true what they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
And that is all I have to say, I'm off to vacuum and settle into a good book!
Ahh...
I did leave a few things up - the construction paper garland the kids and I made, the half-eaten gingerbread house, a couple of smelly good Christmas candles, and a few twinkly lights. We'll let the kids enjoy the Christmas magic a few days longer.
And on another note, Christmas magic...It's amazing how the littlest things are magical to the kids. Even after weeks of having them around, the twinkly lights and garland bring a big excited smile to the kids' faces. They keep begging to eat the gingerbread house, and I let them pick pieces off throughout the day. It doesn't taste good at all, but Little Man and Baby Girl haven't seemed to notice. Snow globes, I don't even know what to say about those! Grandma Monger gave each of the kids their very own snow globe last year, and this year as well. She wants to start a collection for them. The little ones go crazy for it. Shaking them up, watching the snow fall, listening to the tinkling music. Thank you, Monger.
And yet on another note, Monger left yesterday to spend a few weeks in Spain with the other branch of the family. Can I say that I'm a little jealous? She'll spend several days in Spain, then they're all off to the Canary Islands for a week-long vacation, then it's a few days more in Spain before coming home. Yes, I'm just a little jealous. Not only of the adventure, but of getting to see the family. I would love so much to be able to see my husband's side of the family more than once a year, and for my kids to grow up with cousins as best friends. Maybe one day....I'm not sure what we're going to do for this long without Monger. Little Man sincerely thinks she's going to be gone for two days, not two weeks. He's already asking if he can go over to her house to spend the night, and I'm looking at two weeks without help during the week. It can be done, I know, but Monger helps us out so much! Again, thank you, Monger. It's true what they say, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder."
And that is all I have to say, I'm off to vacuum and settle into a good book!
Sunday, December 26, 2010
Best Christmas Yet
What I loved best about this Christmas, and in no particular order except stream of consciousness...
This year, I made my grandmother's, Memom's chex mix and Chinese New Year cookies for friends, teacher's gifts, and for those that help us every week - the mailman and garbage collectors. It's a tradition of Memom's that I'm helping to carry on for her.
How my Memom is so close to my heart during Christmastime. I love her and miss her so much. Not a day goes by during Christmas that I don't think of her, it was her time of the year. She loved it so and gave and gave to others.
Putting Santa's cookies back in the bag, minus a few pieces which were crumbled up on Santa's plate, after the kids went to bed. Anticipating the excitement when the kids noticed that the cookies were gone and all that was left were crumbs.
Fixing up Baby Girl's baby crib with linens. Hot gluing ruffle underneath and knowing how much she would love it.
Seeing Monger cry at one of her presents, a puzzle made from a picture of all five of her grandkids playing in the sand at the beach from summer vacation.
Snuggling on the couch with the Hubs and Baby Girl on Christmas evening.
Missing Little Man like crazy after he went home with his Monger Christmas Day.
Realizing on Christmas Eve that I was content and fulfilled, and I really, truly didn't want for a thing, except to be with my family for the next two days.
Being filled with the spirit of Christmas, so much that it brought me to tears, realizing how very blessed we are in this life.
Actually being able to take our time opening presents on Christmas morning. The kids loved it, Momma and Daddy loved watching it.
Baby Girl and Little Man opening presents together, they literally helped each other open most of the gifts. There was nothing but cooperation and excitement for each other. They love each other so much and genuinely enjoy each others company. I am so thankful they are friends.
Little Man playing Santa, he knows his name, Baby Girl's name, and the words "mommy" and "daddy" by sight.
Little Man getting excited when he found a present with his name. I have a picture of him standing with a big present, he's pointing to his chest, has a happy look on his face, and is saying, "It says to ME!"
Making gingerbread house, Little Man and Baby Girl eating most of the candy before it could make it onto the house.
Little Man saying "I want that, and that, and that, and that. Mommy, I want ALL of it, everything on here!" (said while waving his arms around to indicate "everything") when toy catalogues came in the mail.
The 90th annual S.'s Christmas Eve party, which for me marks the beginning of Christmas each year. I love, love, love this party.
This year, I made my grandmother's, Memom's chex mix and Chinese New Year cookies for friends, teacher's gifts, and for those that help us every week - the mailman and garbage collectors. It's a tradition of Memom's that I'm helping to carry on for her.
Setting up the Dickens Christmas village this year. Memom gave me a piece for Christmas and for my birthday every year for about 5 years. I was 10 or so when she started, and not excited at all about it. But I love it now, and am so thankful for her forethought.
How my Memom is so close to my heart during Christmastime. I love her and miss her so much. Not a day goes by during Christmas that I don't think of her, it was her time of the year. She loved it so and gave and gave to others.
Little Man was really into Christmas morning this year, I have so many pictures with a genuine, excited, big smile, wide eyes, and a face full of wonder.
Putting Santa's cookies back in the bag, minus a few pieces which were crumbled up on Santa's plate, after the kids went to bed. Anticipating the excitement when the kids noticed that the cookies were gone and all that was left were crumbs.
Fixing up Baby Girl's baby crib with linens. Hot gluing ruffle underneath and knowing how much she would love it.
Seeing Monger cry at one of her presents, a puzzle made from a picture of all five of her grandkids playing in the sand at the beach from summer vacation.
Snuggling on the couch with the Hubs and Baby Girl on Christmas evening.
Missing Little Man like crazy after he went home with his Monger Christmas Day.
Realizing on Christmas Eve that I was content and fulfilled, and I really, truly didn't want for a thing, except to be with my family for the next two days.
Being filled with the spirit of Christmas, so much that it brought me to tears, realizing how very blessed we are in this life.
Actually being able to take our time opening presents on Christmas morning. The kids loved it, Momma and Daddy loved watching it.
Baby Girl and Little Man opening presents together, they literally helped each other open most of the gifts. There was nothing but cooperation and excitement for each other. They love each other so much and genuinely enjoy each others company. I am so thankful they are friends.
Little Man playing Santa, he knows his name, Baby Girl's name, and the words "mommy" and "daddy" by sight.
Little Man getting excited when he found a present with his name. I have a picture of him standing with a big present, he's pointing to his chest, has a happy look on his face, and is saying, "It says to ME!"
Sunday, June 27, 2010
Random Ramblings
A few cute quips about the kids -
Baby Girl has a few new words. Well, a lot of new words, since it's been forever and a day since I've posted about her. Her new favorite phrase: "I want cookie." Many of her new words have to do with food, as my girl likes to eat! Last night The Husband, Baby Girl, and I went out to eat. (Little Man was at grandma's house.) As The Husband and I were getting ready, my little daughter walked into the bathroom, looked up at her daddy, and said, "Eat. I want snack. I want cookie." It was absolutely melt your heart in your chest cuteness.
Little Man is growing up into such a sweet little boy. He went to Vacation Bible School for the first time last week, and I was so proud of him. He had the time of his life. Every day he came home so full of excitement, telling stories about his day, about his friends, and how much fun he had. Our neighbor's kids were going to the same VBS, so after the first day they offered to drive Little Man there and bring him home. So sweet. Little Man, my child who usually clings to me in new situations, went without a second thought. Of course, one of his best friends, Z. belongs to our neighbor, and the thrill of getting to ride in the car with his little friend was incentive enough for him to go without mom. It was a big step for both of us, and a lesson in letting him go. On the last day of VBS, I asked him what he learned that day, and he said, "That heroes (the theme for the week was how even little people can be heroes) are brave and save the day. And don't ever let anyone put you down." Ahhh!!! It was so cute, I felt like my face would break I was smiling so big, and I had to try very hard not to laugh. It was just the cutest thing. :)
Life has been good, so very good lately. I've really tried to focus on the good, and when I get stressed or overwhelmed I go grab a little person and hug them and tickle them under the chin and just enjoy the moment. Are there piles of stuff still waiting to be done afterward? Yes, but the stress is gone. And as life always does, when you put "good" out into the universe, it always comes back to you. On a random night a few weeks ago my friends and I had a girl's dinner. It ended way too soon, so on the way home I stopped at the bookstore and roamed the aisles. I just randomly picked up the book Eat, Pray, Love, and just as randomly decided to buy it. All I can say is wow, just wow. Amazing. I hope I can hold on to the feeling of that book forever.
On another note, I need to update on my mom, and I can say it again, "LIFE IS GOOD! GOD IS GOOD!" Mom had her surgery, how long ago was it, 5, 6 weeks ago? However long since I've written in this old blog, I know that. Well, the surgeon was able to remove all of the tumor, it hadn't appeared to have spread, and he did not recommend further treatment. Have a little surgery, cured of malignant cancer. How about that?! Of course, mom will have to be monitored for a while, and will have regular scans to make sure the thing doesn't come back, but at this moment that is all she needs. She did very well in the surgery, and very well in her recovery. She had major surgery on a Thursday and was home on a Sunday. Back to work part- time two weeks later and now is at work full-time. The kids have to be a bit careful around her, but they love to look at her scar, which I have yet to see (that's on purpose, too!). Wow, I'm getting a bit emotional just thinking about it, it's been a few weeks since I've seriously thought about it. What a precious gift we all were given, Mom, my step-dad, me, my children, that Mom's cancer was found. What a precious gift that the golf ball-sized, malignant tumor was able to be surgically removed. What a precious gift that Mom didn't need nasty chemo or nasty radiation. What a precious gift that my children have a healthy Gram in their lives.
God is so very good to us!
Baby Girl has a few new words. Well, a lot of new words, since it's been forever and a day since I've posted about her. Her new favorite phrase: "I want cookie." Many of her new words have to do with food, as my girl likes to eat! Last night The Husband, Baby Girl, and I went out to eat. (Little Man was at grandma's house.) As The Husband and I were getting ready, my little daughter walked into the bathroom, looked up at her daddy, and said, "Eat. I want snack. I want cookie." It was absolutely melt your heart in your chest cuteness.
Little Man is growing up into such a sweet little boy. He went to Vacation Bible School for the first time last week, and I was so proud of him. He had the time of his life. Every day he came home so full of excitement, telling stories about his day, about his friends, and how much fun he had. Our neighbor's kids were going to the same VBS, so after the first day they offered to drive Little Man there and bring him home. So sweet. Little Man, my child who usually clings to me in new situations, went without a second thought. Of course, one of his best friends, Z. belongs to our neighbor, and the thrill of getting to ride in the car with his little friend was incentive enough for him to go without mom. It was a big step for both of us, and a lesson in letting him go. On the last day of VBS, I asked him what he learned that day, and he said, "That heroes (the theme for the week was how even little people can be heroes) are brave and save the day. And don't ever let anyone put you down." Ahhh!!! It was so cute, I felt like my face would break I was smiling so big, and I had to try very hard not to laugh. It was just the cutest thing. :)
Life has been good, so very good lately. I've really tried to focus on the good, and when I get stressed or overwhelmed I go grab a little person and hug them and tickle them under the chin and just enjoy the moment. Are there piles of stuff still waiting to be done afterward? Yes, but the stress is gone. And as life always does, when you put "good" out into the universe, it always comes back to you. On a random night a few weeks ago my friends and I had a girl's dinner. It ended way too soon, so on the way home I stopped at the bookstore and roamed the aisles. I just randomly picked up the book Eat, Pray, Love, and just as randomly decided to buy it. All I can say is wow, just wow. Amazing. I hope I can hold on to the feeling of that book forever.
On another note, I need to update on my mom, and I can say it again, "LIFE IS GOOD! GOD IS GOOD!" Mom had her surgery, how long ago was it, 5, 6 weeks ago? However long since I've written in this old blog, I know that. Well, the surgeon was able to remove all of the tumor, it hadn't appeared to have spread, and he did not recommend further treatment. Have a little surgery, cured of malignant cancer. How about that?! Of course, mom will have to be monitored for a while, and will have regular scans to make sure the thing doesn't come back, but at this moment that is all she needs. She did very well in the surgery, and very well in her recovery. She had major surgery on a Thursday and was home on a Sunday. Back to work part- time two weeks later and now is at work full-time. The kids have to be a bit careful around her, but they love to look at her scar, which I have yet to see (that's on purpose, too!). Wow, I'm getting a bit emotional just thinking about it, it's been a few weeks since I've seriously thought about it. What a precious gift we all were given, Mom, my step-dad, me, my children, that Mom's cancer was found. What a precious gift that the golf ball-sized, malignant tumor was able to be surgically removed. What a precious gift that Mom didn't need nasty chemo or nasty radiation. What a precious gift that my children have a healthy Gram in their lives.
God is so very good to us!
Friday, May 7, 2010
Looking up...sort of.
So many emotions are swirling around inside me right now. I'm a big ole merry-go-round of fear, sadness, relief, guilt, and hope, with a big dose of a fight-it attitude.
The results of Mom's second test came back, and her doctors are recommending surgery. The good news is that her ovaries are fine, not a speck on them. The bad news is that she has two very suspicious tumors on one of her kidneys. I learned that after 50, lumps/cysts/tumors on the kidneys are normal, but the doctors don't like the looks of two of these spots. A biopsy is not recommended, because the tumors have a bit of fluid in them, and they don't want any of the fluid to seep into Mom's system, in case they are indeed cancerous. So...she's having a portion of her kidney removed, in a little under two weeks.
This is one of the scariest journeys I've ever been on.
I'm thinking a lot about my sweet husband, who lost his father to cancer a little over two years ago. One of my most recurrent thoughts, "Ahh, so this is what he felt like. I'm so sorry, sweetie, I only wish I'd known..."
This is the stuff of life. This is what makes us who we are. This is what makes us savor, enjoy, and eat up with a spoon the normal, beautiful, everyday days that make up our life.
In a weird sort of way, this is the perfect mother's day gift. I know that sounds morbid, but nothing makes one appreciate a mom like the thought of losing her. I'm reminded of all the fun times, the sweet, selfless things my mom did for me. Forget all the other stuff. In the 3 1/2 years since I've been a mom, I've learned that mom's make mistakes, too, sometimes big ones.
Remember the good, forget the rest.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8)."
The results of Mom's second test came back, and her doctors are recommending surgery. The good news is that her ovaries are fine, not a speck on them. The bad news is that she has two very suspicious tumors on one of her kidneys. I learned that after 50, lumps/cysts/tumors on the kidneys are normal, but the doctors don't like the looks of two of these spots. A biopsy is not recommended, because the tumors have a bit of fluid in them, and they don't want any of the fluid to seep into Mom's system, in case they are indeed cancerous. So...she's having a portion of her kidney removed, in a little under two weeks.
This is one of the scariest journeys I've ever been on.
I'm thinking a lot about my sweet husband, who lost his father to cancer a little over two years ago. One of my most recurrent thoughts, "Ahh, so this is what he felt like. I'm so sorry, sweetie, I only wish I'd known..."
This is the stuff of life. This is what makes us who we are. This is what makes us savor, enjoy, and eat up with a spoon the normal, beautiful, everyday days that make up our life.
In a weird sort of way, this is the perfect mother's day gift. I know that sounds morbid, but nothing makes one appreciate a mom like the thought of losing her. I'm reminded of all the fun times, the sweet, selfless things my mom did for me. Forget all the other stuff. In the 3 1/2 years since I've been a mom, I've learned that mom's make mistakes, too, sometimes big ones.
Remember the good, forget the rest.
"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things (Philippians 4:8)."
Monday, May 3, 2010
Unsettling
Well, mom called. Her scan was not exactly normal. She is going in for a second test today.
This is scary. Honestly, I'm in shut-down mode. It's either that or full freak-out mode, which would not be helpful to anyone.
Wishing this weren't happening. I'm having to remind myself to trust in God. He will pull us through, whether this turns out to be just a scare or a full-fledged family situation.
Agenda for the day:
This is scary. Honestly, I'm in shut-down mode. It's either that or full freak-out mode, which would not be helpful to anyone.
Wishing this weren't happening. I'm having to remind myself to trust in God. He will pull us through, whether this turns out to be just a scare or a full-fledged family situation.
Agenda for the day:
Trust.
Have Faith.
Pray.
Listen.
Take a deep breath.
Love on my babies.
A few hours later -
Ok, so to be honest I'm not in shut-down mode. I know this because I feel like I'm barely keeping a panic attack at bay. Heart racing, feels like my blood pressure is through the roof, having a hard time getting a deep breath, just want to sit on the couch or lie in my cozy bed and forget the world exists. Not going to happen, I have two little monkeys who are bored and letting me know it. Still waiting to hear back from mom. Seconds are trickling by like hours and hours have been stretched out like days. This is the longest day ever.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Letter Days
When I was about 9 or 10, I read this book called Night of the Twisters. I was obsessed with/terrified of storms, mainly tornadoes. Not too strange since we typically have a few hit our area each year. Anyway...I remember how the book begins, talking about red letter days and black letter days. About how they almost always start out like any other day. You wake up, get ready, go about your business, and then BAM, something happens to make it memorable, for the good or the bad.
I was reminded of that opening, to a book I read 20+ years ago, when my mom called me tonight.
She told me that her doctor feels that she has some indications of ovarian cancer.
My mom. Black. Letter. Day.
Her doctor is not diagnosing her, but sending her out for a special kind of scan. Never mind that before I had kids, I worked in the medical field, but the name/type of the scan escapes me. I've noticed that medical knowledge tends to flee when it concerns a family member.
Normally I would not be upset about this. My mom is one of those people who is always going to the doctor for some weird thing. If she doesn't like the answer one doc gives her, she'll go to another, and another. It sounds harsh, but when she's talking about her medical woes, I've kind of learned to tune it out, or take it with a grain of salt.
This is different.
A few weeks ago I almost called her and told her she needed to get tested for ovarian cancer. I had the most overwhelming feeling that I needed to tell her this. I had watched a segment of a talk show, and a doctor on the show said something that resonated so well with one of my mom's mysterious symptoms, and then he said it was a good indicator of ovarian cancer. Apparently doctors are learning more and more about this cancer, and they are starting to recognize some warning signs. Anyway...I didn't call. I didn't want to create drama, as I knew it would freak my mom out. I mean, it would freak me out if someone called me and told me that. Besides, her mysterious symptom had been diagnosed as something else and treated. Still, I felt that I should call her, but I didn't.
The lesson here is to listen to your intuition. How many times am I going to have to be shown that?!
Mom also has a few other seemingly (and hopefully) random symptoms that could indicate ovarian cancer. Scary
Her scan is Monday. That's a long time to wait. I can't believe I'm writing this down, but my mom and I have a bit of a rift in our relationship. I'm not sure what the source of it is, but it's there. When I think about our relationship, I feel like a total and complete sh*t. Excuse me for saying so. I've been a bit of a witch to my mom over the years. Not overtly, not purposely, but still. I will be immediately working on that.
My prayer is that this will all blow over and everything will be okay. That maybe this is the nudge I've needed to chuck all the baggage out the window and just wholly love my mom for who she is, flaws and all. She certainly loves me for who I am, flaws and all. I've been praying lately for something to give in out relationship and that we could somehow manage to be closer, like we used to be. Maybe this is God's answer. I have been told before to be careful what you ask for, you just might get it, but not the way you expected.
I'm hoping that in hindsight, I will see this as a Red Letter Day after all.
*Praying*
I was reminded of that opening, to a book I read 20+ years ago, when my mom called me tonight.
She told me that her doctor feels that she has some indications of ovarian cancer.
My mom. Black. Letter. Day.
Her doctor is not diagnosing her, but sending her out for a special kind of scan. Never mind that before I had kids, I worked in the medical field, but the name/type of the scan escapes me. I've noticed that medical knowledge tends to flee when it concerns a family member.
Normally I would not be upset about this. My mom is one of those people who is always going to the doctor for some weird thing. If she doesn't like the answer one doc gives her, she'll go to another, and another. It sounds harsh, but when she's talking about her medical woes, I've kind of learned to tune it out, or take it with a grain of salt.
This is different.
A few weeks ago I almost called her and told her she needed to get tested for ovarian cancer. I had the most overwhelming feeling that I needed to tell her this. I had watched a segment of a talk show, and a doctor on the show said something that resonated so well with one of my mom's mysterious symptoms, and then he said it was a good indicator of ovarian cancer. Apparently doctors are learning more and more about this cancer, and they are starting to recognize some warning signs. Anyway...I didn't call. I didn't want to create drama, as I knew it would freak my mom out. I mean, it would freak me out if someone called me and told me that. Besides, her mysterious symptom had been diagnosed as something else and treated. Still, I felt that I should call her, but I didn't.
The lesson here is to listen to your intuition. How many times am I going to have to be shown that?!
Mom also has a few other seemingly (and hopefully) random symptoms that could indicate ovarian cancer. Scary
Her scan is Monday. That's a long time to wait. I can't believe I'm writing this down, but my mom and I have a bit of a rift in our relationship. I'm not sure what the source of it is, but it's there. When I think about our relationship, I feel like a total and complete sh*t. Excuse me for saying so. I've been a bit of a witch to my mom over the years. Not overtly, not purposely, but still. I will be immediately working on that.
My prayer is that this will all blow over and everything will be okay. That maybe this is the nudge I've needed to chuck all the baggage out the window and just wholly love my mom for who she is, flaws and all. She certainly loves me for who I am, flaws and all. I've been praying lately for something to give in out relationship and that we could somehow manage to be closer, like we used to be. Maybe this is God's answer. I have been told before to be careful what you ask for, you just might get it, but not the way you expected.
I'm hoping that in hindsight, I will see this as a Red Letter Day after all.
*Praying*
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