Am I a Birth Junkie?

Ok, I'm totally stealing this, but I'm giving credit, it's from one of my favorite blogs, EnjoyBirth, who posted a link from WomanToWomanChildbirthEducaton. Looks like I'm a little bit of a birth junkie - proud of it!

Here it is, my comments are in bold and parenthesis:

With a tip of the hat to Jeff Foxworthy of “You Might Be a Redneck…” fame, I thought of a series of things that may be tip-offs that you just might be a birth junkie. (By my definition, which is, I suppose, an infatuation bordering on addiction [if not actually there] for birth and all things related to it.)

Without further ado…You might be a Birth Junkie…

• if you blog about birth (more than just your own birth for historical purposes) or if your birth story is at least two pages long


• if you failed math, but can quickly convert grams to pounds and ounces (approximately)


• if you can say “vagina” in a sentence without blushing (YEP)


• if you can correctly use “os” in a sentence (YEP)


• if you can’t remember who won any gold medals for the US in the last Olympics, but you know US statistics for maternal and infant mortality, and the national C-section rate (bonus points if you know your local hospital(s) epidural, induction, and C-section rates) — if you’re not from the US, insert your own country (SOME OF THEM)


• if you can list the mother-friendly and baby-friendly guidelines from memory, and know which hospital in your area (if any) fulfills those goals (SOME OF THEM)


• if you can recite the midwifery model of care (CAN'T RECITE IT, BUT KNOW THE GENERALITIES OF IT)


• if when you’re discussing something related to birth, you receive those polite but puzzled looks… right before your conversation partner moves away (OH, MOST DEFINITELY!)


• if you see a circle about 4″ big, and you think “that’s fully dilated” (NO, BUT I GUESS FROM NOW ON I WILL!)


• if you have birth-related artwork somewhere in your house (includes placenta pictures and belly casts, etc.)


• if you currently have or ever did have a placenta in your freezer


• if you have ever consumed placenta


• if you have a model of a pelvis, uterus, or some other female organ


• if you always keep honey sticks on hand


• if you’ve ever gone to the bookstore and hidden “What to Expect When You’re Expecting” (or some other similar non birth-junkie book) and replaced it with some pro natural-birth book (HAHA- YES! AND I TELL ALL MY NEWLY PREGNANT FRIENDS UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES SHOULD THEY READ THAT BOOK!)


• if other women get tired of telling you their birth stories before you get tired of hearing them


• if you have a library (or would love to acquire one) of birth-related books and videos (YEP, AND I RE-READ SOME OF THEM JUST B/C I LIKE THEM)


• if you have 10 or more birth-related videos saved to your account on YouTube


• if you appear on any YouTube (any internet) video talking about birth, in labor, or giving birth (picture montages count)


• if at least half of the blogs you regularly read are birth-related (YEP)


• if someone tells you she “had to have” a particular intervention and you can come up with several alternatives that were never mentioned to her (bonus points if she doesn’t get mad or defensive) (HAVE DONE SO, BUT DEPENDS ON THE FRIEND - THE LAST THING I WANT TO DO IS MAKE HER FEEL BAD ABOUT HER BIRTH - PLUS SOMETIMES INTERVENTIONS *DO* NEED TO HAPPEN, AS I LEARNED WITH BABY GIRL'S BIRTH)


• if you refuse to play the “my birth was worse than your birth” game (I NIP THAT IN THE BUD, ESPECIALLY SINCE THAT TALK USUALLY HAPPENS AROUND PREGANT WOMEN)


• if you feel like you know your fellow online birth junkies (even though you’ve never actually met them) better than you know some of your flesh-and-blood friends


• if ten or more of your Facebook friends (or other equivalent) are people you’ve never actually met but know them through birth-related functions (blogs, email lists, etc.)


• if you’ve ever gone to a birth conference


• if you’ve ever emailed, mailed or called your state or national representatives about a birth-related matter


• if someone tells you her baby is breech and you give her names (bonus points if you know phone numbers) of chiropractors skilled in the Webster technique or people who can perform moxibustion


• if you know what counterpressure is and how to apply it (bonus points if you’ve done it) (YEP- BONUS POINTS!)


• if you know what a rebozo is (bonus points if you’ve used one)


• if you encourage your children, especially young children, to watch birth videos (I JUST LET LITTLE MAN WATCH THE BIRTH SCENES FROM "BUSINESS OF BEING BORN" AND THOUGHT IT WAS A GOOD THING)


• if you can get hoarse from watching TV birth shows (like A Baby Story), because you’re yelling through the screen at the woman or her care providers (WELL, I DON'T YELL, ACTUALLY I DON'T WATCH THOSE SHOWS B/C ALL THE INTERVENTIONS RAISE MY BLOOD PRESSURE)

And finally

• if you regularly read this blog, you know you’re a birth junkie! What others can/would you add to the list?