Overworked and Underpaid

Wow, so I haven't blogged in a long time, and, well, it's not without good reason. Things have been a bit rough around here lately, and I've been feeling very overwhelmed. Overwhelmingly overwhelmed. And I began this blog so I could remember the fun everyday things that happen when there are two children in the house, it's my journal, really. So I didn't want to write about the truly stressful or irritating things, or anything that was a downer. But, this rough patch has been around awhile, and I think I need to vent. First of all I feel guilty about even feeling overwhelmed, I'm a stay-at-home mom after all. I know moms who would give their right arm to be able to stay home. And in no way, shape, or form would I rather be working right now, I love staying with my kids. Part of the problem is The Husband's work schedule. He's always working. We're lucky if he gets home for dinnertime, and I don't mean in time for me to fix dinner, I mean while the kids and I are eating dinner. I think I've written about how much I dislike the dinner prep hour, we call it the Witching Hour in my house. My children both turn into little ghouls who seem to have the goals of 1. Keeping me from preparing any type of meal, no matter how early I start, 2. Driving their mama insane, 3. Driving me to drink, and 4. All of the above. So it's never good when I'm preparing dinner without another adult to buffer me from the kids' antics. Then there are the Saturdays, when The Husband goes in, promising to be home by the end of afternoon naptime, only to call in the afternoon and say he'll be home by dinnertime. Oh hell...Then by the time he gets home he's so exhausted, or has work to do on the computer, that it's still like he's not there. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not mad at The Husband, he's self-employed, juggling many hats, and just doesn't know how to stop. So I'm not mad at him. However, it is frustrating, to say the least. I feel like a babysitter/maid/cook, with no time for anything else. Getting pictures together? Forget it. Having a pretty yard? Never gonna happen. Little projects around the house? You must be joking. These are the things stay-at-home moms do with their time, right? I feel like I'm expected to do these things, and I know I want to do them. Sigh...The kids have also been getting up at night. Both of them, all night long. Little Man will get out of bed at least 10 times before 10:00, and no, I'm not exaggerating the number. Baby Girl has been waking up 3 or 4 times in the night, too. So between the two kids I'm lucky to get two hours of sleep at a time. I do not function well without a good night's sleep, much less spotty sleep for months at a time. Sigh again. It also seem like lately everything I touch seems to fail. Take my pictures for example. I've spent hours on pictures this week, made three trips to the photo store, and still don't have any physical pictures to put in the frames I've already hung. How is that, you say? I don't want to get into all the grisly details, but I'm having some major problems with my photo software, which has over saturated ALL MY PICTURES, making the color pictures too dark and the b/w pictures green. Yes, green. Nothing like green b/w pictures.

I have to say, though, that there is some good news. It's that I know that these bumps in the road aren't major, catastrophic events. So I'm overwhelmed with housework and cooking? I remind myself that I'm blessed to have a house to clean and nutritious food to cook. Overwhelmed with my kids and their behavior right now? I remind myself that I'm blessed to have kids, and that they behave the way they do because they are smart and developing right on track. Overwhelmed by The Husband's work schedule? I remind myself that I'm blessed that he has a good job that provides for his family and allows me to stay home with our children. Overwhelmed with having interrupted sleep? Well, I can't really put a positive spin on that one, except that this, too, shall pass.